this about sums up why i regret moving back to woodbridge...
$550 / 2br - Hoodbridge is calling you...
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Reply to:
hous-198060641@craigslist.org Date: 2006-08-23, 9:40PM EDT
What to look forward to if you come to live with me:
1. Elephants with no conceivable schedule. The neighbors upstairs walk around with cinder blocks on their feet and make sure to be around 24 hours a day. Don't think you can escape their stomping by changing your schedule or trying to sleep in another room. They are psychics and they will make sure to make the most noise when you are suffering from a migraine... right above YOU. When you think the stomping gets bad, they will change it up with some jumping, strange sounding squeeking, or TV so loud you can hear the words of the TV show they are watching. Oh yeah, dont think you can complain. They will only answer the door after 10 straight minutes of pounding and then will respond with, "What the [censored] do you want me to walk on air?"
2. People who live in HOODBRIDGE who drive Cadillac Escalades. Do they not understand this is HOODBRIDGE with a veneer coating of the essence of respectability? I mean come on? These people deserve what they have coming. A few weeks ago they walk out and find their waste of money propped up on large rocks and all four tires gone. Do these intelligent people go out and get immediate replacements? No, they let their $100,000 vehicle STAY on the rocks for 2 months until the factory replacements come in. These are your neighbors.
3. Condo management people who respect your needs so much that they never return your call and swear at you when you have a legitamite gripe. Water waterfalling behind the walls and coming out the light switch, warrants the maintenance dude to come over for 30 seconds, take a peek, and say "aw [censored], it's coming from upstairs." Dont forget these are the same elephant neighbors who do NOT answer the door.
4. Crazy socially inept neighbor downstairs who has probably never had sex in his life. He claims to have an ex-wife, but this could be disputed as he seems not to be able to string more than a few syllables together and not make a complete sentence. While he does this, do not expect him to look into your eyes.
5. Dolly Parton wanna be neighbor with great big curly bleached blonde hair. She is somewhere in her sixties and if she starts talking, dont worry about having to say anything. She will breeze right by and keep going fluttering from one subject to the next without taking a single breathe. Not one... it is definitely a sight to behold.
6. A girl roommate who dreams of owning a Dodge Ram duelly, sitting front and center to watch #8 Dale Earnhart Jr. race around the track at Talladega (or any Nextel race), riding GSX R600, and prefers to do vehicle repairs on her own. A 5' mighty midget blonde dynamo who only looks and sounds like she is 15, but is really a 27 yr old Xena warrior on the inside. Dont think she takes any [censored] from anyone. And she is heterosexual.
7. Speed bumps from hell. Talk about monster bumps... these are better called undercarriage rust makers. Just when you think you make it over the bump and think you are scott free, the back tire catches, the shocks dipp precariously low, and that awful sound of metal scraping cement tears through your heart like a bad breakup.
8. Overcharging underservicing cable and internet services. You will spend too much money to receive too few channels that dont really give any of the better channels anyway that some of the other companies provide. Can you do anything to change this? No, because the nazi condo management company does not allow dishes to be mounted in any way, shape, or mean, and the apt does not give good exposure to the southern sky. So you must suffer.
9. Horrible traffic. But then as you are in the greater DC area you would expect this. But at least it is extremely easy and convenient to get yourself locked into massive jams. Located only 1 mile from 95, 1/2 a mile to 123, and 1.5 miles to Rt 1, you can find yourself easily immursed in traffic moving slower than molassas downhill. If you prefer taking public transportation, you and the rest of the government employees who get metrochecks, can get to the VRE, only 2 miles down the road.
If you are interested in any of these fun prospects, you can contact me via email or call at 860-518-6896 and we can schedule a meeting.
Of course this is available immediately, and at this price can you find something better?
