Name the best use of the factory stereo in the Contour.
Winner takes home a signed picture of me pooping on an HU!
Good luck!
grind it up and use it as a laxative..
Definately should be used as a hockey puck.
That, or a parking block.
To be used in a honda riced out one.
Put it up on eBay and sell it for $182.50!!!
Originally posted by cthomp21:
Put it up on eBay and sell it for $182.50!!!
No kidding, I've seen some go for around $100.
You could throw it at your next door neighbors dog, if it tries to bite you. Or you could mail it to dave, and he could use his unbelievably large brain power to transform it into something useful for your focus honkey..
It you pour a combination of Roland's poop and hairspray on it, it can make an effective anti-terrorist weapon. It can also be used to blow up guard shacks in parking garages that accuse people of squealing their tires.
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Name the best use of the factory stereo in the Contour.
Winner takes home a signed picture of me pooping on an HU!
Good luck!
Listen to it ?
Originally posted by Captain Bart:
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Name the best use of the factory stereo in the Contour.
Winner takes home a signed picture of me pooping on an HU!
Good luck!
Listen to it ?
Oh yeah! Even better, make terrorists listen to it! They will beg for mercy within minutes!
Originally posted by dnewma04:
Oh yeah! Even better, make terrorists listen to it! They will beg for mercy within minutes!
So true, listening to a skipping CD is extreme like the Chinese water torture. You'd go mad listening to it.
So I'm the winner?
If you still have your OEM HU, you are certainly not a winner.
BTW, I got $202.50 for mine on fleabay.
Originally posted by APT CSVT:
If you still have your OEM HU, you are certainly not a winner.
BTW, I got $202.50 for mine on fleabay.
I still have my OEM HU but I don't use it very often. As I already mentioned in another forum, I'd rather listen to the notes coming out of the exhaust tips!
Originally posted by Captain Bart:
I still have my OEM HU but I don't use it very often. As I already mentioned in another forum, I'd rather listen to the notes coming out of the exhaust tips!
I would too if my HU sounded like turd. Can you exhaust pipes reproduce the Star Wars theme? Didn't think so! :P
I'm so mean! Dave won because he mentioned poop, explosives, and terrorists. All very exciting!
You lose because you mentioned the very notion of using the stock HU for anything other than hacky sack or a boat anchor
I thought poop and terrorists were the same thing?
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Originally posted by Captain Bart:
I still have my OEM HU but I don't use it very often. As I already mentioned in another forum, I'd rather listen to the notes coming out of the exhaust tips!
I would too if my HU sounded like turd. Can you exhaust pipes reproduce the Star Wars theme? Didn't think so! :P
I'm so mean! Dave won because he mentioned poop, explosives, and terrorists. All very exciting!
You lose because you mentioned the very notion of using the stock HU for anything other than hacky sack or a boat anchor
Okay... that went to Dave because his answer is remotely funny. Not bad for a guy with no emotions (he is not human).
Dave - 1 point
everybody else - you suck
What's going to happen when I start with the real tough questions? Dave will get them all because he is a nerd. You have to scoop up these easy questions to stand a chance people!
Today's Question:
Theoretically, what would be a better setup?
A) Alpine HU and Factory speakers
B) Factory HU and Alpine speakers
C) Monkey beating on a paper plate with a spoon
D) Me in the shower
The correct answer is Honkeytonk Monkey in a shower beating on a plastic plate with a spoon while stomping on anything remotely related to a factory system!
Originally posted by dnewma04:
The correct answer is Honkeytonk Monkey in a shower beating on a plastic plate with a spoon while stomping on anything remotely related to a factory system!
While listening to his Alpine HU and Lambda PB15 from his car in the driveway...
This one is easy.
Monkey beating in the shower....the magical music of the skin flute.
Originally posted by t-red2000se:
This one is easy.
Monkey beating in the shower....the magical music of the skin flute.
I don't know if it is magical, you can barely hear it over the horrible flatulence... the flatulance is a bit magical though, how can so much gas build up in one person?
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Originally posted by t-red2000se:
This one is easy.
Monkey beating in the shower....the magical music of the skin flute.
I don't know if it is magical, you can barely hear it over the horrible flatulence... the flatulance is a bit magical though, how can so much gas build up in one person?
it's all the bananas!
Gas building up in one person is easy.. just a lot of hard boiled eggs, spam, protein shakes, and laxatives. You'll be spewing out things in no time.
Originally posted by dbzjr:
Gas building up in one person is easy.. just a lot of hard boiled eggs, spam, protein shakes, and laxatives. You'll be spewing out things in no time.
Pickled eggs work better....oh and beer.
{{{{{PUUUUuuuuuukkkkeeeeeee)))))
Originally posted by dnewma04:
Pickled eggs work better....oh and beer.
never tried pickled eggs.. but beer does work. They don't smell much though.
Originally posted by dbzjr:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
Pickled eggs work better....oh and beer.
never tried pickled eggs.. but beer does work. They don't smell much though.
The combination of the two will allow someone to single-handedly subdue a 20,000 sq ft shop....seriously.
I am out of here!
Originally posted by jsujo:
{{{{{PUUUUuuuuuukkkkeeeeeee)))))
That is the correct answer! You won today's contest!
Dave - 1
Jsujo - 1
Everybody else - crying because they lost
Way to go!
Today's question:
What did the factory stereo in a 1982 VW Jetta have for speakers?
Good luck!
4x6 in the front door, 5" in the rear deck.
If you want me to describe the factory system, i will quote jsujo "{{{{{PUUUUuuuuuukkkkeeeeeee)))))
"
Monkey beating on a paper plate with a spoon
In 1982, my guess is that speakers were an option so the answer would be none which would still sound better than the Contour 'Premium Sound'.
no speakers in doors, 3.5"s in dash, option for rear deck, 5x7
Bzzzzzz! You are all wrong!
In 1982, the Jetta (at least mine) came equipped with 3" speakers int he rear dash and 3x4" speakers in the front doors. They were rediculous and I have a theory that they were actually stolen out of those talking dolls by Hitler's men back in the 40s. Damn him! Damn him straight to hell!
Dave - 1
jsujo - 2
everybody else - still 0... you make me sick! All of you!
Today's question:
If you call into work sick because you just feel too lazy to work what does that make you?
The person with the correct answer gets a trip to Disney World*!
Isn't that a wonderful prize?
I think so!
* Prize does not actually include a trip to Disney World... or anything...
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Bzzzzzz! You are all wrong!
In 1982, the Jetta (at least mine) came equipped with 3" speakers int he rear dash and 3x4" speakers in the front doors. They were rediculous and I have a theory that they were actually stolen out of those talking dolls by Hitler's men back in the 40s. Damn him! Damn him straight to hell!
Dave - 1
jsujo - 2
everybody else - still 0... you make me sick! All of you!
How did jsujo get 2?
In reply to:
Today's question:
If you call into work sick because you just feel too lazy to work what does that make you?...
A typical walmart employee! Or, newman.
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Today's question:
If you call into work sick because you just feel too lazy to work what does that make you?
The typical fat, lazy American?
Dunno 'bout Canadians. I think they just want to eat pickled moose testicles...
I say if you do that, you're a Honkey Tonk Monkey. At first you'd be lazy, but you'd realize you could install your Neos, re-wire your system, or make fun of Dave by saying how his headsize makes up over 50% of his height, and body weight.
Originally posted by dnewma04:
How did jsujo get 2?
I made a typo... but who am I to punish him for my mistake? I don't hear him complaining!
If I wAS A Wal Mart employee, I would be too lazy to call,,,,
A very honest (and helpful) person. Because if you go in on a day when you are not able to give 100% you will just be slowing everybody else down and making more work for them because you are not able to work well so by taking the loss of calling in sick you enable the other workers to do better work thruout the day also if they call in somebody else then you are alowwing somebody else to better maximze their earning potential.
Originally posted by moxnix:
A very honest (and helpful) person. Because if you go in on a day when you are not able to give 100% you will just be slowing everybody else down and making more work for them because you are not able to work well so by taking the loss of calling in sick you enable the other workers to do better work thruout the day also if they call in somebody else then you are alowwing somebody else to better maximze their earning potential.
What you been smokin'
I never give 100%, this is Wal-Mart here not assembly line at a bomb factory!
shhhh you dont want your boss to find out. besides I was talking about of what you normaly give not of what you could give. I still think it was a good idea. Where my mom used to work she got one mental heath day a month that she could call in and say I dont feel like coming in today because I cant handle it there today so I am taking off.
Originally posted by moxnix:
shhhh you dont want your boss to find out.
Why not? If he does he might fire me (yeah right) and then I would have an excuse to go get a real job
LOL!! I had the same attitude when I worked at Wal Mart.
dbz should get at least partial credit for mentioning how large my head is (size 8).
Originally posted by dnewma04:
dbz should get at least partial credit for mentioning how large my head is (size 8).
Dave is talking about his 8cm peak-to-peak excursion capabilities.. has nothing to do with how much it weighs..
Originally posted by CRZYDRVR:
LOL!! I had the same attitude when I worked at Wal Mart.
You aren't getting any points for being dumb enough to have worked for the Walton family!
Originally posted by dnewma04:
dbz should get at least partial credit for mentioning how large my head is (size 8).
Remember that time you went to the island Ren is from and got him to do that headshrinking voodoo those wacky island savages do, and your head only shrunk to the size of an elephants? Good times...
I mixed a boring Saturday night and lots of vodka to find out that my head weighs 20lbs. Is that a lot?
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
dbz should get at least partial credit for mentioning how large my head is (size 8).
Remember that time you went to the island Ren is from and got him to do that headshrinking voodoo those wacky island savages do, and your head only shrunk to the size of an elephants? Good times...
Yeah.. I remember how many days it took them to bring that head down to that size. They said it was supposed to take only an hour, but they underestimated how large it was..
Originally posted by cthomp21:
I mixed a boring Saturday night and lots of vodka to find out that my head weighs 20lbs. Is that a lot?
Still nowhere near Daves brain size/weight
... you shouldn't mix vodka, and boredom on saturday. blasted humans!!
7 Oranges, the correct answer is 7 oranges
The answer is: Do we have to answer in the form of a question?
While oranges is a good guess the answer I was looking for was Elmo. Elmo is the reason I didn't go to work.... all those freakish little red things staring at me from the shelves... judging me... AHHHHH
So here are our standings:
Pete D: 1/2 point (oranges does deserve some credit, as Elmo is red, which could be considered red to people wearing tinted glasses
jsujo: 1 point, not including the one on his head
Dnewma04:
1/2 (he lost a point because he told me there is no 12 AM or 12 PM which came as a shock to me causing me to go bald prematurely which surely is the cause of my ungetlaidability)
Everybody else: no points because you are all idiots! idiots I tells you! Well... not idiots... maybe just mildly retarded...
Today's Question:
Is there such thing as 12AM and 12 PM?
The correct answer wins a date with three women* of thier choosing!
Good luck to all contestants!
*may not be actual women, may even be me and two hobos dressed in drag.
12:00:00 = Noon or Midnight
12:00:01 (after midnight) is 12 AM
12:00:01 (after noon) is 12 PM.
For the instantaneous period of time in between AM and PM, there is no AM or PM, just noon and midnight.
Originally posted by dnewma04:
12:00:00 = Noon or Midnight
12:00:01 (after midnight) is 12 AM
12:00:01 (after noon) is 12 PM.
For the instantaneous period of time in between AM and PM, there is no AM or PM, just noon and midnight.
Dave: 0 points
Anybody else know a better answer?
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
12:00:00 = Noon or Midnight
12:00:01 (after midnight) is 12 AM
12:00:01 (after noon) is 12 PM.
For the instantaneous period of time in between AM and PM, there is no AM or PM, just noon and midnight.
Dave: 0 points
Anybody else know a better answer?
A.M. stands for "ante meridiem"
P.M. stands for "post meridiem"
Meridiem=Noon
Ante=before
Post=after
Therefore, by definition, noon cannot be AM or PM. By the same token, midnight cannot be either because it is a point in time that divides the day up.
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
*may not be actual women, may even be me and two hobos dressed in drag.
Who cares what time it is, as long as I'm with a monkey and two hobos! Let the good times roll!
Originally posted by t-red2000se:
Originally posted by Honkeytonk Monkey:
*may not be actual women, may even be me and two hobos dressed in drag.
Who cares what time it is, as long as I'm with a monkey and two hobos! Let the good times roll!
Ooooh! Good answer! I like that one... you are on your way to bonus points my good man!
Which is easier? Training a monkey to be a hobo, or a hobo to be a monkey?
Discuss.....
Originally posted by t-red2000se:
Which is easier? Training a monkey to be a hobo, or a hobo to be a monkey?
Discuss.....
I'm already borderline hobo so it shouldn't be too hard to go over the edge...
I'm so poor
Could be worse, some old geiser rode by our place on his riding mower, we all pointed and laughed. later he came back on by, saw some of our wire, proceeded to stop and asked us about the thickest cable we had. Asked him what he wanted it for. His response.......
To tie up his dog
This may be you one day
LMAO at Knu...great story!
the difference between am, and pm is the fact that you sleep in one or the other.
The difference between AM and PM is "A" and "P". Now, we all know A&P is some sort of southern grocery store. As HTM is poor and hungry, he is going to steal some food from people by threatening to park his Focus in front of their house as they come out of the grocery store.
Following our line of logic to its conclusion, the difference between AM and PM is a can of tuna, some doggie biscuits, and some hair gel.
BTW, Knu's story is funny. I can just imagine some little dog tied up with 1/0 not even being able to lift its head off the ground.
Originally posted by t-red2000se:
Yeah..you drive a focus. 
Was that a shot?
You don't want to go there
After I put the 302 kit in it will hand everything it's ass!
Mwa ha ha ha!
Well I give Knu today's point for his hearwarming story about the dog that had NOTHING to do with my question...
Dave - 1.5 (He is helping me find an 8" speaker so he gets a bonus point
Knu - 1 (Unless he forgets my damn sticker again!)
Jsujo - 2 points (I think)
PeteD - 1/2 point
Everyone else - Try harder!
Today's question:
What is more important news to you?
A)GM bringing over a Holden as a Pontiac
B)Ford making a Ford version of the Mazda 6
C)Bird poops but missed your car
D)Lambda raising their price
E. Ford supplying Lambda subs in all of their vehicles.
The most important news is that those little lemon-scented wet-naps that come with your rack of ribs are NOT to be substituted for toilet paper in any way, shape or form. The sensation is somewhat akin to improperly lighting your farts on fire.
The correct answer is is C, but only if you witness it pooping into another vehicle's open sunroof. This happened to me TWICE
Thank God I have leather, who wants to go for a ride?
Originally posted by TheMark:
The most important news is that those little lemon-scented wet-naps that come with your rack of ribs are NOT to be substituted for toilet paper in any way, shape or form. The sensation is somewhat akin to improperly lighting your farts on fire.
So thats why that happens, Quaker Steak and Lube in our area heats their wet naps, they work nice for that fresh feeling
Suuuure.. that'll be the day you actually put a 302 kit in. Either way, you'll still be making fun of dave by bagging in his tampons and showing them off to the public.
And what TheMark has said, improperly lighting your farts are not fun.. We should all try it with that Pickled eggs, and Beer.
The most interesting news would be Dave igniting one of his farts in front of his wife, and accidentally blowing up his house.. (now why did i get an image of an episode of Gator and Monkey?)
Originally posted by dbzjr:
Suuuure.. that'll be the day you actually put a 302 kit in. Either way, you'll still be making fun of dave by bagging in his tampons and showing them off to the public.
And what TheMark has said, improperly lighting your farts are not fun.. We should all try it with that Pickled eggs, and Beer.
The most interesting news would be Dave igniting one of his farts in front of his wife, and accidentally blowing up his house.. (now why did i get an image of an episode of Gator and Monkey?)
ROFLMAO!!
F. The girl I brought home from the bar who was really a man and......well nevermind
Originally posted by Pete D:
F. The girl I brought home from the bar who was really a man and......well nevermind
#2 in my list of things I DON'T WANNA KNOW!
BTW... I thought you were enjoying yourself!
In reply to:
F. The girl I brought home from the bar who was really a man and......well nevermind
G) That's it...
Just G)
But just as a sidenote, some kid drove up to me at a light in a Honda CRX. It was accompanied with the Triple MTX 10" subs, the 17" rims, the ground fx, etc. done in the classic "My Car Blows and I Know It" style. He asked politely "where is tram law?" and i said WTF is tram law and he said wal mart. The light turned green we went at it and he stalled out
. Just for sake of getting my foot in the door here. And I get 2 points to start with because im way cooler than you guys!
Originally posted by devonb_37:
G) That's it...
Just G)
But just as a sidenote, some kid drove up to me at a light in a Honda CRX. It was accompanied with the Triple MTX 10" subs, the 17" rims, the ground fx, etc. done in the classic "My Car Blows and I Know It" style. He asked politely "where is tram law?" and i said WTF is tram law and he said wal mart. The light turned green we went at it and he stalled out . Just for sake of getting my foot in the door here. And I get 2 points to start with because im way cooler than you guys!
Actually you lose 2 points for your long sig, which includes "Alpine240W CD receiver" They are almost all 60x4 nowadays, and for having 3way speakers in a car
The correct answer was of course:
K) Friends don't let friends drive drunk, and if they do, they drive behind them with thier high beams on
Good try today guys!
Point standings:
Dnewma04 - 2 points (He was having a breakdown so I have to give him extra points before his head explodes, and being such a gigantic head he would surely kill us all)
jsujo - 2 points (at least I think so, do you really expect me to wade through 9 pages of crap to figure it out)
DevonB 37 - -2 points (for thinking you could ever drive a Contour and still call yourself cool, if it didn't work for me I highly doubt you can pull it off)
Knu - 1 point (And please tell me you washed your seats after said birdpoop incident)
Pete D - 1/2 point (You can trade your 1/2 point in for one of these great prizes! nothing, nothing, or a night with a 300lb transvestite!)
Everyone else - If you don't play, you don't win. In some cases if you do play you don't win... life is cruel...
Today's question:
Which car is better and why?
A)Dodge Neon SRT
B)Nissan Altima
C)Mazdaspeed Protoge
D)Ford Focus RS Rally Car
E)Pontiac 6000 Special Edition
Be aware that any mention of 1/4 mile times will result in you looking like a redneck hick since the real test of a high performance car is a real track... even though the Focus Rally car would kill any of the others in the 1/4 mile
Good Luck!
In reply to:
Which car is better and why?
F) any of them are better than a Focus.
Sorry...except the Pontiac.
The correct answer is sooo obvious! It's the F350 DNewma04 drives, with the dual horse trailer to put his hat in.
Duh!
If you've ever seen it, it kinda looks like the popemobile. He had to but a plexi bubble over the driver's seat which sticks up a good three feet. That's the only way his melon would fit. Imagine an F-series with a trouble bubble on it.
That's the best car in the whole wide world.
(E) - Pontiac 6000 Special Edition!!!
It's just too freakin' kEwL!!! They only sold 3 of them, so it's worth about $4,000,000,000 Canadian (which is $2.87 American)!!!
The rest of 'em just sat on the car lots and rusted, which took about three weeks....
-C
D) It shows a good attempt to cover up for the Focus' ugly looks. Although I don't think it's ugly
-Pete
In reply to:
The rest of 'em just sat on the car lots and rusted, which took about three weeks....
I didnt know plastic rusted
j/k
a 1982 vw jetta with a stock stereo
The answer is whichever car Luke thinks is better because this is his thread.
Originally posted by dnewma04:
The answer is whichever car Luke thinks is better because this is his thread.
So then the correct answer is a ZX5
Originally posted by CRZYDRVR:
In reply to:
Which car is better and why?
F) any of them are better than a Focus.
Sorry...except the Pontiac.
Okay fine, I suppose your right Mr. ATX Zetec
NO POINTS 4 YOU!!!!
If you think the other cars are better than a Company prepared WRC rally winner you are nuts
... btw my focus is slow
...
Originally posted by KnuKonceptz:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
The answer is whichever car Luke thinks is better because this is his thread.
So then the correct answer is a ZX5
The ZX5 is horribly slow and ugly, how could you even pretend to like it?
Protege 5 over the ZX5!
-Andy
Originally posted by ANDYW:
Protege 5 over the ZX5!
-Andy
I believe you are in for negative points.
Originally posted by ANDYW:
Protege 5 over the ZX5!
-Andy
If I had bought that I would be kicking myself right now. I was torn between a Yellow P5 (first one I'd seen) and a Malibu Blue ZX5 (never had seen malibu blue at all) Today, I see three Yellow P5s on my drive home from work in the morning, and a couple over the rest of the day. I have never seen another Malibu Blue ZX5 besides mine and the one in the Ford commercial (identical to mine with the advance trak) Neither is any faster than the other. Supposedly the lower weight of the Focus combined with it's broader power band should give it a slight edge but at the speed were talking here what's the point? And both are really good handling cars. I suppose the P5 is most people's favorite thanks to the Foci's taller seating position but I found the ZX5 I test drove more fun than the P5 I test drove. Styling is always subjective to the tastes of the viewer, and I need new glasses (I really hate my front and rear bumpers... and the grille mounted signal lights can go away too)
It grows on you though. I liked it at first and now I really like it (minus those horrible 5mph bumpers)
And you lose a point!
So there Andy!
You like apples!
Well ho do you like them apples!
!
Originally posted by KnuKonceptz:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
The answer is whichever car Luke thinks is better because this is his thread.
So then the correct answer is a ZX5
Nah.. he knos his zx5 is a slow piece of $hit. He can't even run down a granny with a broken leg with that thing!!
Originally posted by dbzjr:
Originally posted by KnuKonceptz:
Originally posted by dnewma04:
The answer is whichever car Luke thinks is better because this is his thread.
So then the correct answer is a ZX5
Nah.. he knos his zx5 is a slow piece of $hit. He can't even run down a granny with a broken leg with that thing!!
Touche!
Wow!
The correct answer is definitely A,B,C,D & E, because after consuming nearly a fifth of Glenfidditch and looking over the question, I see ten multiple choice answers, and they all look the same.
I didn't drive, btw... and when I got home I looked into a MagLite and turned it on,
fell over backwards, and couldn't see anything but white light for about 10 minutes. Don't try that at home, folks.
E) My signiature is long so you think i might have something important to say. BTW, my dad has an old F-150
Well.. as for what car is better, i'd have to say his Mean Green for fun to drive, and his zx5 for the PB.. and his 82 jetta for the worlds crappiest stereo at the time he had it.
What is this marvel of engineering youguys call a Pontiac 6000? I would like so much to see it.
and my post has that symbol because i don't really know what it is.
PS i'll shorten my signature after this post.
