Well, I haven't talked to her today, but I am more than likely going to talk to her tomorrow, because she has school tomorrow night, and i think that is one of the main reasons she chose to do what she did when she did, b/c she didn't have school on Tuesday, or Wednesday, and she told me when I told her how upsetting it was she told me that it was only going to be for a couple of days, and I know she's going to school tomorrow, so hopefully she'll sober up. i talked to her therapist today, asking him whether or not I should stay, (i've already made up my mind to stay and help her) but anyway, I asked him if when she sobered up would she care that I if I was still here or not. He told me that she would be surprised and grateful that I am still here, because she's told him that all throughout her life, people have left her. I really think that I am here to help her. I am going through hell, but I know if I leave now, then I'll never know if I could've helped her. But if I stay, and she still doesn't change, then I will know that I couldn't. And like everyone keeps telling me, it's ultimately up to her to change, there is really nothing I can do except be that shoulder, and that rock that she can lean on. I was just text messaging her all day, telling her that I love her, and that I am still here when she wants me. i was just telling her , "be strong" and God WILL help her through it. and that she just needed to be strong and pray. I'm sure it didn't do any good b/c she was probably high, but at least it's in her phone when she sobers up. Today sucked.. Zero appetite, can't think about anything else... But, It's like my mom said, if I'm going to try to stay and help her, then I need to be strong for myself. And I'm trying, damn I'm trying, but it's so hard.. Just keep us in your prayers please, I think right now, that is the only thing that can really help. Thank all of you. I know I'll make it through this, thank you for your comments and suggestions. They really help. -Jonathan
