Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Need prayers and words of encouragement/advice

Short of using crack myself, I've been though ALL phases of that world and it NEVER ends up pretty. Dude, crack addicts are extremely bad news. If she ever falls in deep she will bring you down with her. If she has relapsed already chances are you're in for a very painful relationship with her if you choose to stick around. You've seen movies and heard stories of what crack addicts are capable of doing and what they end up looking like. Well, there is NO exaggeration there. You say she's gorgeous right? Well imagine if I'm a (male) dealer, she needs a fix, and has no money? Well, well, well, sorry to be so in your face but it can happen. In all seriousness protect yourself.

I believe 2 months is enough to develope a real bond with or fall in love with some one. today marks one year with my girl friend, and it was at about 2 months that i knew this was for real. One year and we couldnt be better.
Now on with the drug situation. Dont leave her, you might be all she has as far as her hopes of getting out of this. People do clean up. and clean up for good. If you leave her because of this she might look at that as her last inspiration out the window and fall deeper into this. I can only imagine how much this hurts you. You obviously care alot about "B" and i think its the best for the both of you if you stick with her through this. Keep it in your prayers and i'll keep it in mine.
If she chooses the crack over you you may loose the love relationship, but dont just give up. Stick with her as a friend, Like the theropist said, you could be her godsend and she needs you.
I hope it works out for both of you. Keep us updated

Stay away, there are many other fish in the sea. Sounds like a problem waiting to happen.

Thank all of you for the comments. I am going to stay with her, and be that shoulder to lean on. My mother told me everyone just wants to be loved, and I am going to make sure that she knows that. That I am here for her. and I'm not going anywhere, I think that's the best way that I can show her that I care about her. Actions speak louder than words, and this could be the action that may just (in a broken 2pac quote) "Spark the brain that may change her ways". I am also just going to keep talking to her therapist, and see what he says about the situation. She is lucky to have him. Most therapists you know, time the meeting, and when time is up, time is up, regardless of whether or not you are in the middle of a conversation. But he truly cares about her. At the end of our conversation he said, "Jonathan, call me if you need me.. No, I don't like saying that... Call me if you want me." And this is the very first time I've ever talked to him, but he obviously now knows how much I care for her. And he is so cool to be so open to have that conversation with me. Since talking to my mother, and her praying about it, and all of you that have prayed about it, I just feel at peace right now, because I know that the situation is now in a higher power's hands. So, I'm going to be with her through it, I know it will mean a lot to her. And for me seeing her get out of it, will mean a lot to me. She knows it's wrong, and she hates the way she is when she is on it, but she slipped today. As my grandmother always says, "This Too Shall Pass". Thank all of you for the comforting comments, and even the ones I don't agree with, thank you for taking the time to express your opinion. - Jonathan

When I was in school I did about every single drug I could find, we used to go looking for anything new or exotic. most the time we would get all sorts of F@#$ up and watch platoon or faces of death ex.. From what i have read i have done enought drugs that I should be legaly insane 100x over.

But now I work for a fortune 10 company! how did that happen????

I guess I got lucky because by my Jr. year I was board of getting messed up all the time. One of my friends (Rich) at the time had this girlfriend Jannet who he had been dating since high school. She was just stunning to look with a real kick'n body and just a wonderful person (very giving, smart ex..) When Rich started his downward spin he sucked her down with him. And there was nothing any of us could do but watch??

Crack is very, very ugly stuff (trust me I know) if she does it more than a couple times a year then run as fast as you can! because there is a line between usage and addition and with crack that line is very, very thin and sharp. And if she is an addict then there is nothing you can do but get cut. I mean there is realy nothing you can do, because it's up to her to quit and to be honest I have seen the same story a couple times. Some young pretty smart girls want to live life "fully" and it's up to them to step back from the edge.

Also where there is a "crack head" there is a crack dealer.. and those people are real problems!!! in many, many bad ways, even if she is "under control"

My father never realy gave me much good advice but he always had one good one..I think it may be from a song.. and anytime a GF was getting me crazy I would repeat it to my self..

There are more pretty girls than one...
There are more pretty girls than one...
There are more pretty girls than one...
There are more pretty girls than one...

And the wonderful thing is it's true! Good luck!

I've just read your post...

Whatever you choose to do (and I honestly think that you had your mind set on what you were gonna do before you even posted this thread!), the best of luck to you! I mean that.

But all I will say is this; stay with her for you, not for her. Anyone saying you must stay with her because you're the only one she has is WRONG ~ that's exactly what addicts say to those close to them ("Don't leave me, you're all I've got. I'll die without you. I'll leave the drugs. Honest") to keep them right there! It's part of the mentality of addicts I'm afraid, laying guilt trips here there and everywhere.

Jonathan, if you want to be with this girl and see it through, good for you matey, but make sure that you are doing it for yourself as well as her! Be genuine and honest with yourself on that one.

If you are just in it to be a constant shoulder for her and a stooge when she's back on with the crack, then you must leave and continue with your life elsewhere.

Doesn't sound very Christian maybe, but it's practical and as you only get one life here, don't waste it on doing something that is only going to smash you down...

Good luck mate,

JJ.

Well, I haven't talked to her today, but I am more than likely going to talk to her tomorrow, because she has school tomorrow night, and i think that is one of the main reasons she chose to do what she did when she did, b/c she didn't have school on Tuesday, or Wednesday, and she told me when I told her how upsetting it was she told me that it was only going to be for a couple of days, and I know she's going to school tomorrow, so hopefully she'll sober up. i talked to her therapist today, asking him whether or not I should stay, (i've already made up my mind to stay and help her) but anyway, I asked him if when she sobered up would she care that I if I was still here or not. He told me that she would be surprised and grateful that I am still here, because she's told him that all throughout her life, people have left her. I really think that I am here to help her. I am going through hell, but I know if I leave now, then I'll never know if I could've helped her. But if I stay, and she still doesn't change, then I will know that I couldn't. And like everyone keeps telling me, it's ultimately up to her to change, there is really nothing I can do except be that shoulder, and that rock that she can lean on. I was just text messaging her all day, telling her that I love her, and that I am still here when she wants me. i was just telling her , "be strong" and God WILL help her through it. and that she just needed to be strong and pray. I'm sure it didn't do any good b/c she was probably high, but at least it's in her phone when she sobers up. Today sucked.. Zero appetite, can't think about anything else... But, It's like my mom said, if I'm going to try to stay and help her, then I need to be strong for myself. And I'm trying, damn I'm trying, but it's so hard.. Just keep us in your prayers please, I think right now, that is the only thing that can really help. Thank all of you. I know I'll make it through this, thank you for your comments and suggestions. They really help. -Jonathan