Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Not sure dumb friend wants to know the answer

Originally posted by Cookie Monster:

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A Man and His Car

A couple weeks ago, I started to rebuild my trunk. bumpabump system. Dammit! I needed to go buy more felt! I had one 12" x 6" scrap of felt that I had been using as a hanky. Completely aggravated, I went to the hobby store. Anyway, I get me bolt of felt and take it to the old lady to have her cut a yard for me. I said "I'd like one yard of this, please." She says "yes ma'am". "Sir," I said. "Oh! Of course!" She cut the fabric, I bought it and asked what she was doing after work. I was torn,should I wait two hours for her to get off work or was it time to go home? I chose to wait in lustful anticipation and then I took her back to where she left her car and we sat liplocked in the steamy silence of a passionate embrace, for almost twenty minutes. It was over much too soon. When she got out, I went straight home and went to bed. I fell asleep rather quickly. When I woke up right at 8 I felt sick. Not sick like I needed a doctor, but just sick and terrible. When I finally got out of bed, there were 28 text messeges on my phone; all from her. I didn't call her back. I didn't reply to the messeges. I went to calculus and talked about bad random hookups with old ladies from fabric department with my friend, Travas. After class, we went to Burger King and discussed our women troubles. Turns out, his ladyfriend is also a random old lady from the fabric counter! In fact.....our ladyfriends are the same cheating (*&)(*&*&^%^$#%$^%$$%#%*&@ fabric counter lady! I had to go back to school for my biology lab, which lasted until 5:20 this afternoon. When I got home, I finished putting in my stereo. And I decided never to speak my two-timin fabric counter lady ever again! Still, I must admit when I slow down and think, she's all I think about and all I need.

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I am a bad person.