Here's a bunch of my favorites,
"A friend in need is a pest." - Bobby Heenan
"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat."
"A pat on the back is only 18 inches away from a kick in the butt."
"No matter how hard you try, you can't polish a turd."
"No job is too big, no fee is too big." - Bill Murray in Ghostbusters
"Sex is purely mind over matter; if she doesn't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mr. Spindlelegs
