something to remember: 9mm is not considered a self defense round for the simple fact that 1 round will not stop a cranked out junkie or coke fiend. so choose a weapon thats reliable not just comfortable, and be prepared to loose more than 1 shot if you're going to use a 9mm.
i've had a 9mm before and i plan to purchase another one shortly. because of my goddamn aching computer nerd wrists i dont enjoy shooting a 45, kinda feels like punching a brick wall.
additionally, if she has a smaller palm, like i do, 1911 framed weapons are definately a big plus, compact and sub-compact 1911's and beretta cougars and mini cougars are really the only weapons i'd rely on to cary for the simple matter that i cannot reach all of the function levers on larger framed weapons. anything with a double stack mag is uncomfortable too.
