my car was purchased with the "smoking kit" or whatever it's called.
thankfully it was never used.
it consisted of the lighter of which you spoke and a cylindrical ashtray that fits snuggly in the cup holder. I have mine if you would like to buy it. :-)
i also have one that came with the "upgraded" cupholders which i think suck but that's another story.
under my stereo there is a spot where it is clearly missing something, there are screw retainers and slots where posts would fit such that something could hang there. but i can't recall what goes there, nor if my car was supposed to have it.
i recall seeing pictures of cars with lighters and what appeared to be an ashtray that slides out like a drawer right under their head unit.
off i go in search of pictures....