Tony,
I feel for you in your situation. My mother was 1st married for a short while to an abusive man. After she escaped that marriage after a few months she married my father. He cheated on her repeatedly until she finally threw his ass out when I was 7. He lived 10 minutes from me but I probably only saw him 10 times after that. Good riddence, bastard. She found another man, who was also a divorcee. They dated a long time, bought a house together, but he could never commit to marry her. Then one day he drops dead of a heart attack. He had a home office and my mother discovered messages on the machine from the other woman he was keeping in another town (he was a traveling sales rep). So, given what I've seen from the view of a child of divorce and cheating parents, my advice to you is do not try to patch things up only for the sake of your daughter. If you love her you will want to provide a stable home for her, and so long as your wife is cheating on you (and if she's done it once she'll do it again) you won't have a stable home. Set your life straight first, get custody of your daughter, and love and raise her as best as you can. Allow free visitation, but you are the parent she should be looking to for moral guidance.
One observation:
Originally posted by BOFH:
My particular type of control is knowing what's going on, having information. Not knowing was driving me batty.
Originally posted by BOFH:
How did I know how to find her. Well back in September when my wife said she wanted to leave, I went through my server logs and found she was researching this guy. She told me then he was a representative for Humana Military Healthcare and she was looking at getting a job. So I bought it. But I remembered the name, archived the logs as well as saved a copy of her e-mail box.
Seems to me that if the problem for Lori in your marriage was your controlling her through having all the information all the time that nothing has changed, despite your best efforts at counseling and faith healing. Time to move on.
Scott
