Also, if I may be so bold:
One person's spiritual or moral fortitude can NEVER be attributed to another person's actions or inactions. Inattention on your part just isn't an excuse for your wife to pack up and hop on the nearest "fun stick", especially considering that marital vows that were undertaken between you both. I'll not even get into the blatant disregard for the family well-being and mental/emotional stability of your children that was brought into this due to a reckless affair...
...so STOP blaming yourself. Why?
One person cheated here, one person sold out the core trust of a relationship, one person threw everything away by making a haphazard choice.
From my understanding of things, it certainly doesn't appear to be you.
Again, best wishes.
