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Boy do I lead a busy life or what? I just got home from the hospital around 3pm this afternoon. I had my hernia repaired. I have an 8"x10" piece of mesh in my abdomen, so I'm not bulletproof

Surgery was yesterday at 7:30 AM and I was awake in the recovery room by 11:00AM. I had a laproscopic procedure done where they put about 6 holes the size of you pinky in me and inserted the tubes a camera, the mesh and the gassed me up. Seems they pump you full of gas to inflate the abdominal cavity and then patch from the inside. The mesh "patch" is rolled up in a hollow tube and then unrolled once it is passed inside your body. The stitches are all on the inside.

Anyway, I have a flat abdomen now.

Last night my wife, who many of you know moved out on 1 October came to visit me in the hospital, and left around 8PM. About 10-15 minutes after that my cell phone rings and it is someone who claims to be Nikki, Frank's wife. She says her husband and my wife are having an affair.

I ask her if she lives in Ohio and she says yes.

I call my wife's cell and it seems she doesn't have service. I get her on the phone later and tell her that Nikki called me, and that she says that her husband Frank is seeing her. She doesn't deny it. She says she is seeing the guy, thinks it is ok since she is "seperated" I remind her that there is no legal seperation, and what she is doing is illegal. She says the law isn't enforced.

I tell her no more child support money from me, if she cannot afford to take care of our daughter then she should bring the child home and I will take care of her, but I will not pay for her lovenest.

She hangs up on me, and calls her mom, only to find out that her mom already knows that she is having an affair.

Lori calls me back and we talk for about 90 minutes. The longest conversation we've had since she moved out. I tell her that I still want to work on the marriage because I know she was looking for something that she didn't get from me that she deserved. I admit that, but I also tell her than seeking that from another man instead of going to counselling with me about our marriage was a pretty lousy way to go about this.

She also tells me that she didn't think it was her wife that called me, but one of my wife's co-workers, who must be mad at her. I say that really doesn't matter does it. It doesn't change what she is doing.

Tonight, I called the other man's wife (OMW). How did I know how to find her. Well back in September when my wife said she wanted to leave, I went through my server logs and found she was researching this guy. She told me then he was a representative for Humana Military Healthcare and she was looking at getting a job. So I bought it. But I remembered the name, archived the logs as well as saved a copy of her e-mail box.

I also know she setup a new Yahoo webmail account. So when I talked to OMW tonight we comapared notes, I asked if her husband worked for Humana, she asked if my wife's name was XXXX and we knew that we were in touch with the right people.

We exchanged phone numbers as well a cell phone numbers. Seems her and her husband are in marital counselling and OMW sent my wife an e-mail thanking her for screwing up her life.

I thanked her and called OM and left him a voice mail that I was praying for him and his family, his wife and kids and asked that if he was the Christian man his wife believed he was that he would do the same right now, repent of his sins, turn away from my wife, and turn to God and his family and never see her again.

What do you the that SOB isn't brave enough to call me back?

What a fun way to recover from my operation, eh? The adreneline keeps the pain away, and the knowledge really helps calm my mind and spirit. I know it may be hard to believe, but I'm pretty peaceful about this right now.

Thanks for listening and CEG prayer warriors, keep praying for my family as well as the family of OM.

That sucks.

I remember the first time my mom told me my dad had admitted his affair and moved out. I called her from work. Lets just say I didn't fill a lot of machines that day.

I'll keep praying for you, man. Whenever I read one of your posts, it makes my life seem 1000x less compicated and stressful.

Golly gee. I'm surprised you are so calm. I think I'd be livid and end up right back in the hospital with another hernia.

Hey this is even better than watching "As the Furby turns"

*grabs popcorn*

J/K

Your life sounds real [censored] up right now. I think if I had somebody cheating on me I would be telling them to have a nice life....... with somebody else because they are out of mine. But I am not and have not been married and I have no kids so my view may be somewhat different than yours.

However, I may not have made this clear in the last message, my inability to be romantic is still no excuse for her having an affair.

She is upset that I let her parents know what her real reason for moving out was, well that's tough. I wanted to be perfectly clear that I was not abandoning my kids, but I was going to send her no more money and that if she couldn't afford to care for the kids, she knows what she can do to rectify that situation.

I asked her parents to love her, but to demonstrate tough love and not condone her affair or offer her support when I withdrawl financial support.

TB

Dang man, when it rains it pours. I'll keep you in my prayers man for sure. Something good has got to come from all this crap you've had to go through, just keep the faith, God's got something planned here.

Jesus, Tony. Rough doesn't quite describe things, it seems.

Better to know than to rack your mind, body and soul guessing. It's little consolation, but at least you now know the TRUE guilty party in all of this isn't you.

I'd love to make some really trite and snide remarks on the cheating partner, as I watched my best friend nearly become clinically depressed and halfway looney due to a similar episode with his now ex-wife. Crap like this really tends to boil my blood, but I'll keep my trap shut...

"It is said an eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him with the words, 'And this, too, shall pass away.' How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
-Abraham Lincoln

God Bless and best wishes.