I got paged and the service was called off. Well I'm caffiened up, so here I am.
She was up when I got back, seems she couldn't sleep very well. That concerns me a bit, but then there probably is a lot on both of our minds.
She didn't want to talk and I didn't want to push it (like I usually do) so I just let it go.
I just wanted to clarify something above, when I said I can't make her happy, that is not putting either one of us down. I believe that no person can make the other happy. One has to choose to be happy. I can do things that lead to her choosing to be unhappy or I can choose to do things that lead to her choosing to be happy.
I'm still, very much, a logic driven person, I don't always trust that I can read the feelings on display. Or I read too much into it.
Can anyone say analysis paralysis.
Well, I'm going back to working out today. Either way this turns out, I need to get back into shape. For me, because it will help me sleep, work out my stresses, and just improve my health. For her, because when we met, I was BUFF Baby!!! I was working out 6 days a week with three days of aerobics a week, a 60 minute step class and a 30 minute abdominal class. The other three days were weight training with nautilus equipment to improve strength and tone. I took Sunday's off to rest.
I stopped doing that when I was diagnosed with the testicular cancer back in 1993/1994 and never really got back on track.
I've already started losing weight, but not in a healthy way. I really have no appetite right now and have lost about 8-10# in the past two weeks. So now I just continue the progress, but in a healthier fashion. I'm just under 250# for the first time in a long time, and 220# would be just about perfect for now.
I've got to do these things either way. I've become lazy and complacent in so many ways in my life, and the alarm has gone off.
I've been hitting the snooze bar for a while at the very least, or I've not heard the alarm until now.
Well I'm awake and alive and ready to start over again.
TB
