Originally posted by JaTo:
I had a friend in a similar situation a few years back. He did a rather interesting thing:

He wrote up a contact stating what he would change, given that much of the marital issues were of his own making. I'll not get into the specifics, but he put this in front of his wife, signed it in front of her, had her co-sign it as a witness and they've never looked back, because he's followed it to the letter of the law and has been a much better husband and person for it.

The only reason I even knew about it was that he kept it mounted and framed in his office and I asked about it one day.

To him, talk and promises were cheap, as he'd broken so many to his wife and to himself in the past. His thoughts were if he had to stare at a list every morning when he went into his office and every afternoon as he left it, the promises he made would not be forgotten.

Just an idea here. God Bless and best wishes.



I've offered to do something similar. I've offered to stand before her family and re-affrim my love and devotion to her. Offered to come clean and apologize publically to them for helping make their daughter/sister so sad.

I've offered to speak with her friends, good Christian friends. My best friend is a minister, and while she would find a hard time believing this, he could be very impartial, if not harder on me, than on her.

She hasn't gone yet, and it will be hard for her as she is accustomed to a pretty nice life. Her sub 20K salary will not get her and the girls much of an apartment, but I don't want her to feel that she needs to do this.

I need to just depressurize because me desire to work this out will simply drive her out sooner.

But I was willing to stand before God, Family and Friends and pledge my vows to her, and I'm man enough to say what I screwed up and how I plan to put it back together.

She has it in an e-mail, and if she wants my signature on it as well as a witness by my minister friend, I'll give that to her.

But right now, I just need peace in my heart, so I don't drive her out.

Thanks,

TB

"Seems like our society is more interested in turning each successive generation into cookie-cutter wankers than anything else." -- Jato 8/24/2004