1) whats the best tranny cooler, and where can i purchase it?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=transmission+coolers
2) where can i buy the shiftkit?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=transgo+shift+kits
3) whats the best inline oil filter, and where can i buy it?
Check out Big Jims pinned thread above on the B&M unit. Oh yeah... http://store.summitracing.com/product.asp?p=204&SearchType=ECat (got that from google too!)
4) how much ATX fluid does it hold?
Well including the remote trans filter unit and a cooler, that will depend on how big a cooler you use and the filter unit. The cooler will tell you how much extra fluid it will hold on the box. IIRC, the CD4E holds a total of 10 quarts. Adding a cooler and a remote transfilter, I think it would be safe to purchuse at least 12 or 13.
5) the tranny is not in the car, how can i totally drain the remaining fluid in it before i put it in the car and fill with mobil 1?
Remove the torque convertor and drain it.
6) whats a reasonable price to pay for a tranny shop to install the shift kit? (tranny is not in the car, i would toss it in my dads truck and drive it down to them)
This I am not sure about. You will have to call around to a few different tranny shops in your area to find that out. 
