Wow... Well Im just going to give you my honest opinion...
It sounds to me like you care for her alot... but like you said the relationship has always been stormy... that should tell you something right there... But "love" always wins over your brain and that never changes.
Im not sure about the trust issues... Is it that she doesnt trust you or vice versa? If its that she doesnt trust you... man....... its gonna take more work than you think... I mean its a never ending process that could take years to resolve.... Trust me I know.
But just from scratching the surface... I say leave well enough alone. Its gonna take a long time to get her out of your system even if things were bad between you two... because good almost always out weighs bad...
But take your time... dont press the issue right now... I mean she might hate you and never want to speak to you again... just cool your jets and let her do the same... in time you might see not being with her is for the better... but you might find she is exactly what you want...
But what makes matters that much more sticky is the physical relationship... that always clouds your mind... And trust me I dont blame you... its especially hard if the person is your "first"... Its a whole new ball game and your emotions rise to a whole other level...
But just chill out... as hard and as frustrating as it may seem... it will all work out in the end... it always does.
Im bored here at work....... Hope that helps
