Originally posted by brapple:
i don't know if I want to get into this but here goes

I have seen two types of people at college, those who are reponcible and those who go off the deep end. Even with my friends the one who went off the deep end are those who have very controling parents.

Well my parents were never controling of me but they are very trusting. I think it comes down to they trust they raised me well and I can make intelegent decisions, and I do. And with all the crap I have gone through resently I have gone to them and they have been helpful to me.

I don't know the situation but my impression is matt is a good kid with his head on straight. Give him some space to live and experience. I would let him show you that he was raised well and is responcible.

This is a great group of caring people, I know that no one means any harm. And since this is a fairly specific sight I din't think it atracts many random people from the net.

and on my last note, if anyone wants to throw away what I have said becasue I am only 21 then go ahead, what do I know right? It seems to make alot of sense to me



You couldn't have said it better! You know, parents need to realize that they really have NO control over their kids. But most importantly that Matt is NO LONGER A KID!

I know it can be hard for parents to let go of that, especially if Matt is the oldest (I don't know). However, I can also tell you that your relationship with your children will GREATLY improve when you begin to trust their decisions.

At his age it is important to move away from a parental position, and more into treating one as an equal, and offering guidence, not ultimatiums.

I am the oldest in my household, and it probably took my parents a little longer to realize it than others, but after I went away to school, my relationship with my parents improved 10 fold. No longer were they telling me what I can and can't do, but rather we would have adult conversations about the positive and negitive possibilities of various decisions, and their consequences.

I know its not my business either, and that the way you raise your children is your business, but I am trying to help based on my own personal experiences. Hopefully Matt, your relationship will greatly improve.

Best of luck, and see you this summer.



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