Originally posted by Rynn:
Ok, update! 
I sat her down and told her calmy and firmly that if there was a good reason for us to throw away a perfectly good bedroom set and/or sell it to buy a used, but bigger and more "fancy" one, with money we don't have, to tell me right there. (Insert 1 minute silence). That pretty much ended that discussion right there, as she couldn't really give a good reason.
Of course, the "not wanting to learn anything" problem will always be there. :rolleyes: Rynn, good way to handle it, let's hope it sticks. Anyone here ever take the Meyers-Briggs personality test or something similar? Tests like this help us to understand how we make decisions. In your GF's case, sounds like she's more of an emotional decision maker than a logical decision maker. I learned this during my pre-marital counselling, that when it comes to decisions, my wife ultimately relies more on how she feels than any logical sequence of rules and regulations, whereas I am more logic oriented in my decisions. This doesn't mean my wife doesn't understand the logic and my reasoning, but in the end she still feels the way she does about it and that's her primary decision method, whereras no matter how I may feel about it, my logic sequences will ultimately overrule how I feel about something. This isn't a 100% thing all of the time, sometimes I can impulse buy just like anyone else, but overall, this is part of our personality make ups and it helps to understand all this when you get into a marriage. It's good to see that you guys could sit down and deal with it calmly (took me about 4 years to learn how to do this and we still get in arguments over her emotional spending). In the end I learned that, since I'm a peacemaker by default, I'd bail her out almost every time, which prevented her from ever having to bear consequences of bad decisions. Now, when she overspends and runs out of money, she has to solve the problem herself (I should mention here that we no longer use credit cards), i.e. take things back, appeal to the higher court for additional funds (I'm the judge here), generate additional monies somehow, etc. I know it probably sounds bad, but the basic idea is entirely sound, that if we don't bear consequences for our actions, we have no motivation to change. Since you seem to be a peacemaker and give in from time to time, I figured I'd relay my bad experience with peacemaking and the faulty logic that it utilizes. All that said, best of luck in your relationship, none are perfect, and opposites often attract, which makes for difficult areas of conflict, but great makeup times!
