Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Another rejection and I'm about to throw in the towel

My sympathies Edward, I know the feeling :rolleyes: Everyone else will give good advice as well so ill keep it brief. Long story short - In a similar situation I had a date that went great, but I wound up never being able to get ahold of her again after that. The pain of not even knowing what the deal was became incredibly painful.

If anything, appreciate the fact that YOU had a nice and enjoyable evening, even if it was only just once. In the end, at least she was honest(albeit with flawed reasoning) and she was up front. Remember, the only thing you deserve on a date is that persons company...nothing more nothing less.

Just move on bud! "Next....!!"

Best way to get a womans attention is to all of a sudden ignore her. Seem like you're not interested at all. I know its playing mind games but I truely have come to the conclusion that women dont want a nice guy or one that is straight up with them.

It sounds like you may think a little like myself. When you meet someone they can be perfect. Everything about them, their personality, their attitude, their looks, its all just perfect. You think you click with them like they are 'the one.' Then you mind will wander and think other things into 'what could be.' You will begin to overthink what is happening between you and them. Something goes wrong, you are hurt, and they don't realise that they have hurt you so much. Yes, what she did sounded very screwed up, and she was wrong. If the intrest wasn't there she should have let you know.

Personally, I have been out of the dating pool for over two years. We was in a relationship and everything was perfect. All of the sudden it was like the crystal ball of love was dropped and shattered into a million pieces. After that, I got too tied up into thinking, why? I kept overthinking our relationship and tried to figure out what I had done wrong. Needless to say I ended up in counseling because of how messed up I had gotten myself. I wouldn't let anyone near me, including family and friends, for fear I was going to be hurt. Counseling helped, and I started to get turned around. I still stayed FAR away from the dating pool, just because. Finally, yesterday after two and a half years I went on a date. I was so nice just to get out and have fun. I am looking forward to our next date.

If you need some time, take it, but like Davo said, don't loose confidence in yourself. Others around you can tell, and will stay away. The same thing is true about being desperate. Just go out and have fun. If nothing comes of it, you spent some cash for some fun. If something comes of it, you have a second date, and a third, and....

Don't sweat it, EdwardC. Just keep being yourself and sooner or later the right person will come along. Life's too short to worry about some chick who would rather write you a novel over e-mail than talk to you face-to-face.

Who still wear this sh*t? :rolleyes: Dude, your problem seems to be that you are so stuck back in the early eighties.

I suggest you go out and get yourself a nice suit and head to the local bar/club. Women do not give a crap about love anymore - it's all about what you got and how you present it!

BTW, after looking at your title, does this mean that you are throwing in the towel and leaning towards turning ghey? :p

EdwardC, it seems to me you pushed the envelope too far, with letting her know how strong your feelings are, and giving her the calling card to call YOU (!) Maybe the romantic dinner cruise was a little much for a first date...

Believe me, I'm not defending her; her tactfulness leaves a lot to be desired.But tipping your hand too early about your feelings is the FATAL ERROR that I've made more than once!

Dust yourself off, and get back on that horse....

Good Luck!

I agree with Jato and Icey Mike for the most part. The most important thing a single guy can do is have his game as tight as possible in all aspects. If I were you, I would kill the puppy dog approach.

The best girls come along when you aren't looking!

-Andy

I have to agree with this too; however, someone usually find out the hard way somewhere down the road. IMO, I would rather find out now, rather than 1 year down the roads.

Hey Ed,

Sincerely sorry to hear about your bad experience here. Let me be the first to say that, while I know you feel hurt beyond words in one way or another, don't change who you are just because of this one bad experience. Stick to your convictions, someone WILL come along sooner or later that is a great match for you. Someone that isn't afraid or runs away when you voice how you truly feel up front and with honesty. I'm happily married to such a woman myself. They ARE out there, and while rare in quantity, are worth the wait. Keep your head above water and DO NOT let this one experience sour your approach, OK? Unfortunately in today's shallow society, people like you and I aren't much rewarded for our approach, sigh...

While I would generally agree that laying such serious feelings out on the table is a risky proposition, let's face it, you knew the risk and you took it, and now the consequences have come about. Unfortunately for you, your expectations weren't met, and that's putting it lightly judging by your expressed disappointment here. Perhaps you might consider putting aside your hurt feelings and making apologies to her for coming on so strong and for your scathing email and trying to be friends with her? Just an idea...you never know what is truly in a woman's mind dude, it can't hurt to try.

As weird as it may sound, have you ever tried any kind of dating service., etc? I've got some friends who actually had great success using something along this line, what's the worst that can happen? In the end, we're all seeking the same thing, relationship, whether in family, with friends, or with a mate for life, that's what we all cherish. I wish you Godspeed in your journey to find someone with whom you can share your life in a meaningful way for you.