Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Another rejection and I'm about to throw in the towel

I went on the dream date that I mentioned last week and it went very well as we floated down the Potomac River on a dinner cruise. The whole evening was great and I thought my date and I hit it off. The next day, I left for a science conference in Boulder and purchased a calling card so that she could give me a ring without having to spend on the long distance charge. I left a message on her answering machine and went off to the technical sessions. Later that afternoon, I swung by the University of Colorado library to check my email and photocopy a few articles. She sent me an email that tore my heart out and stomped it into dust. She told me that she was not interested in a romantic relationship with me. I have no problem with this part since I would take it in stride. However, she then added that she went out with me so that I could cruise so that I would gain an appreciation for the many different types of women I might find. WTF? Like I'm a charity case? I mean, she couldn't wait to tell me this in person or even on the phone? My feelings only merited a brief text message sent from thousands of miles away? Well, I was in a bad mood for the rest of the conference, got plastered on my return and then fired off an angry email to her in my hungover state citing some of the things that I learned from the experience. So it ends before it even began. What the hell did I do wrong? It's not like I am a pathetic or desperate slob. I give up on trying to figure women out. It just gives me a headache. I thought this woman was it i.e. the girl of my dreams in every way. She gave all appearances of feeling the same level of attraction towards me. I am leaving the dating pool now. It's not safe in there. Maybe I'll return at a later date with body armor and shark repellent.

I feel for you buddy.

I recall dating and it can be a really stressful situation for some.

I know my words probably don't mean much now, but it really is better you find out early before you've invested much emotionally, only to get the brushoff.

However, you know that you have to let go of the hurt and get right back into that pool. Sitting on the sidelines will not do you any good. I'm not saying be desperate and jump anything that moves, but don't lose confidence in yourself.

Seems to me she is the one with issues since she couldn't even tell you to your face that it just didn't click.

However, when (yes when) it happens again, remain composed and tell them you had a wonderful time with them and wish them well.

Girls/Women talk

TB
Who learned nearly a decade ago, that to find the one for you, you have to be the one first.

I think you let it build up in your head too much. If you were yourself on the date, then you have to deal with the fact that you weren't for her and she wasn't for you. If you had trouble being yourself, then you should either learn from that or ask for another chance from her.

You should always rely on sound and not digits when communicating with someone that you may be romantically involved in. Electronic communication is not natural, and I'm sure she found what she said easier to say because it was typed.

You say you're not desperate, etc. But your grief coming from the failure of this date kind of indicated that you are. I say that with no lack of respect for you, and I did not say that to offend you. I'm just trying to make you see the reality of the situation. The following is important...

The only body armor you need is confidence. Putting all your hopes into one person shows a lack of confidence. If you go out with a woman and she says she only went out with you so you could see what other women are out there, and you say "whatever" and move on, then you're the winner. But if you continue to do what you're doing, you're the loser and she's the winner. Which would you prefer?

It all lies in confidence, my man. And stay away from english professors, please.

I feel for you myself,,,I am trying to date, and after what seems to be great evenings, all I have been getting lately is: I just dont feel the connection...!!

WTF do they want after a couple of dates...they want depth, but they want the instant whamo...Women are getting weirder by the day..!!!

I've been on this planet for a short time, but I've done,seen and figured out quite a few things during that time. Again and again, there's been only one subject that can jump up and totally confound me once I dare think I've got it patially figured out:

Women.

It seems that some (not all, mind you) of that species exists in some sort of temporal warp, because the merest posession of any stability (mental or emotional), barefaced honesty and frankness totally escapes them.

I must say I got very lucky, blessed or both with my wife, for she rarely if ever pulls any emotional or mental 180's on me...

Having said that, the best thing that worked for me in the dating field was to approach relationships (those that involved more than the typical college 2-week beer-googles, flagrant fornication and the inevitable disenchantment)with the same caution that merits a coiled cobra with it's hood flared. EXTREME caution. That, and having quite low expectations on having anything truly fun and meaningful happening when trying to get physically and emotionally close to something as beautiful and dangerous as that...

In any case, this too, shall pass and I hope things turn out for the best. It sucks to have such hopes dashed, but better hopes during a trial run than expectations and love during a meaningful relationship...

did you in any way let her know you felt this way about her?

LMAO!!!!! sorry but I'm like that.. I really feel for you, me and the rest of CEG was routing for you.. But all good things come to an end.. trust me you'll find better.. In the meantime have fun and save your money.. women are expensive toys/hobbies.. I've burnt through all my money this year partying with them and it was fun as hell!! though I'n now dead broke and single.. so just keep on looking and you'll find an affordable woman that you can love.. or just party hard till your broke like me :p

all you guys complaining that women are expensive gotta learn how to find chicks that'll pay for their half of the meal. (or at least agree to switch off on who pays for stuff)
going broke just because of a girl is pretty silly.

you boys is so old fashioned :p

Yes. I honestly did. This is typically a huge mistake for guys in most dating situations but I felt that strongly about it. I will never repeat this mistake.

Not on my watch! Call me an old fashioned dufus but a man has a certain responsibilities on a date. Paying for the meal is one of them.