I think you let it build up in your head too much. If you were yourself on the date, then you have to deal with the fact that you weren't for her and she wasn't for you. If you had trouble being yourself, then you should either learn from that or ask for another chance from her.
You should always rely on sound and not digits when communicating with someone that you may be romantically involved in. Electronic communication is not natural, and I'm sure she found what she said easier to say because it was typed.
You say you're not desperate, etc. But your grief coming from the failure of this date kind of indicated that you are. I say that with no lack of respect for you, and I did not say that to offend you. I'm just trying to make you see the reality of the situation. The following is important...
The only body armor you need is confidence. Putting all your hopes into one person shows a lack of confidence. If you go out with a woman and she says she only went out with you so you could see what other women are out there, and you say "whatever" and move on, then you're the winner. But if you continue to do what you're doing, you're the loser and she's the winner. Which would you prefer?
It all lies in confidence, my man. And stay away from english professors, please.
