Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests k, this is kind of odd given the purpose of this BBS

man....

here's something to think about, if you go on judging if a girl's lousy in bed or not..

what if she's inexperienced or hasn't done everything that you have? do you expect the first time to be wild and kinky and rockin your world?! are ya gonna lose her and break her heart cause she wasn't excellent?

i think sexual intimacy is something that can grow (JUST LIKE THE RELATIONSHIP ), and should not be judged souly on the first or second time :rolleyes:

but i'm in the minority i suppose.

EDIT: PG 3 OWN3D :p

My opinion is definitely in the minority here, and I am sure this post will receive its share of flames, but here we go:

Several of my friends waited 'till they were married, and they are the happiest couples I know. If you wait till you are married, you are forced to get to know the real person while you are dating. Sex makes the relationship 100x more complicated than it needs to be. Trust me, if you truely love the girl, then the sex will take care of itself. All the talk about "making sure the chemistry is there" is a bunch crap, and is nothing but an excuse.

And, fyi, I did not have the willpower to wait until I was married. I am very happily married now, but I know it would be even better if we would have waited.

It is not about experience or rocking anyone's world. Its about having something you can build on. It doesn't have to be kinky, or even wild. It just has to be fun for the two people doing it. Excellence is subjective to the two persons in the relationship...!

And FWIW, "inexperienced" women can be 10x better in my book...they don't bring a lot of bedroom baggage with them (e.g. they won't go down because the every time they did it to a guy they'd always fell asleep right afterwards) and they haven't been treated like crap by 15 other guys before, so if you treat them right it works out well.

hence where the 2nd part of my post comes in, yes, it is something that can be built on and grow.

but uh, from what i gathered, some'a these guys are basically saying "shes good or shes gone" 1st/2nd time.

i think i'm just gonna be through with discussing this.

blah.

I didn't say she had to be good in bed!

I said you need to be able to make a connection and be willing let yourself go for you an your partners benefit.

Honestly, if she isn't willing to change to make it better for both of you, and I don't mean getting into crazy stuff, it isn't going to work out. I also don't think it's something that is going to happen over night, it takes times, but you can tell whether she is will to work with you pretty quickly. I know, i've taught my girl a lot, more for her benefit than mine.

-Andy

Maybe, but my old roomate, as well as alot of people I went to college with, were virgins until they got married. All it did was make them get married faster, because they were in such a rush to have sex. 10 years from now, I know my old roomate will be divorced and miserable. Or stuck in a relationship, wondering what sex with other women is like.

Exactly my point!

Kinky/rough/crazy etc., doesn't mean it's the best sex you've had/will have. It's hard to describe, but people will know when I say that it is about how they make you feel during the act. It's more than a physical thing it's a mental and emotional thing that you are VERY aware of at the time.
It's knowing what is good and what isn't from past experiences that makes you appreciate what you have.

After all don't we all live our lives learning from experiences and mistakes? If we are to throw that out when it comes to sex - which is a basis for all relationships, then we are just asking for trouble and innevitasble heartache.

I am not saying fo people to go out and screw as many people as possible, that's dumb. My opinion is that you cannot have a real grown-up intimate relationship with some one without sex. And if you think that you know and love someone without knowing that part of them, then you are kidding yourself.

You may think it to be shallow that I sound like a base a lot of my feeling and perceptions on some one, from sex, but trust me. If they don't "do it" for you in the sack, then you won't last as a couple.

Think about that and tell me that I am wrong!

Mind you regardless of what you think I know what is important for me.

The last thing I want you guys to experience is the heartbreak, pain, stress and suffering of a divorce.

1) Your friends got married for the wrong reason.

2) If someone wonders what sex is like with a woman other than their wife, they shouldn't be married to her.

People sure make this complicated.

You and she have to be really ready, and not the drunk desperate kind of ready.

If you are both ready to have sex, then do it.

Like everyone else says: Use protection.

[my opinion on]
Marriage is an archaic ritual that will eventually fade away. If two people truly love each other, they don't need a contract to convince themselves or others.
[/my opinion off]

Yes, I'm married. Does that make me a hypocrite?

No, it makes you whipped. :p