--long post alert--
As some of you know, I've been a frequent drug user, supporter. Always made me feel better, for a while. Something finally happened, truly great related to drugs...read on...
Well, I've been lookin for magic mushrooms for about 6 months now, and I finally found some. Got ripped off, but I found em. My buddy had a house party last night (friends mainly, I knew most everyone).
So, I ate 1/8 oz. in a peanut butter sandwich (didn't taste em too much). About an hour later I felt a little tipsy, and things started to move. I was feelin great. I didn't talk much, everytime I did everyone looked at me funny, and started laughin at me =) no big deal. Honestly, I felt better than I have in a long time. So I was watchin TV, kinda walkin around, having a grand ol' time. Some girl told me to go outside, because I would love it out there. So, I did. It was nighttime, and wow.... everything was so cool, I was just chillin outside, having a great time. But, I had NO idea what was going on, I just kept saying "what the ****..." all night long. Well, everyone I know left, and these different people I didn't know showed up. Didn't like em' they were annoying as hell. It's know 1:30 in the moring, I'm still trippin. I go outside to smoke a cigarette. I sit on the porch, and I finish my cigarette. Instead of seeing things, and being all confused. I felt so hopelessly depressed. I kept thinkin of my mother, and how sad she would be if she knew what I was doing (and what else I've been doing). I felt sick, horribly sick. I sat in my car, and felt even worse. Started thinkin that I was gonna die, in my car. I went back inside, and layed down (away from everyoen else). Tried to fall asleep. Just kept thinkin of all the people I loved, and how they would feel if they knew what I was doing. Started crying (I haven't cried in the longest time). I wanted my trip to end so badly. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Only to realize that I was seeing all of my friends being killed, and hurt. Remebering every painful thing in my life, and it was so intense. Apoligized to God, my family, and my friends in my head. I decided right there, it was too ****in much for me. I don't want to go to college, I don't want to lead a normal life, and I ****in hate drugs. I love cars, I want to race cars for a living.
There is no feeling like racing cars, honestly. It's so much better... If you've ever raced cars, or something similiar you know exactly what I mean. It's a feeling, I love, and I wouldn't mind being addicted too.
I can't do that on drugs. I gave my 1/2 oz. pot (which I bought with highschool graduation money) and my bowl, and all my related stuff, to my buddy. I'm done with it. I'm meeting with an Air Force Recruitment Officer tomorrow (Monday) to straighten out my life, and find out who I am. I want to be happy, without any sort of herbs or chemicals.
*phew* I feel like **** today, but in my head I feel great. I know things are looking up, finally. I'm glad that I could expierence this, and be able to tell everyone about it. No trips to the hospital, or treatment centers. I'll quit while I'm still ahead.
Thanks for reading
Andy
PS- I know you guys do this stuff, just be careful. If not for you, then for your friends and family.
