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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the
woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was
quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the
driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can
see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told
you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped
you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole
the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was
a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
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Joined: May 2000
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That one hasn't been posted in at least 6 months. 
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Yeah, but ti still cracks me up, kind of like that Mountain Dew commercial where the guy head buts a mountain goat for the Dew, lol...
"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." - President George W. Bush
95 Contour SE ATX V6
"Cracked" Secondaries
DMD Installed
SVT Brakes
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Reminds me of one I heard about a man hearing a noise from outside and looking out, he sees a couple of burglars breaking into his shed. He calls the police but they tell him it will be ~25 mins to get a patrol car there. The man hangs up and calls again 2 mins later. He tells the dispatcher that he has now shot both burglars. A couple of minutes later when half a dozen cruisers arrive at the mans door and catch the burglars red-handed and very much alive, the Captain says to the man "I thought you told the dispatcher that you shot the burglars". The man replies, "I thought the dispatcher told me it would take 25mins for you guys to get here !!" Well, I thought it was funny.... 
'98 Mystique LS V6 MTX
"Unprofessional driver, wide open course."
#9 - Hitting .400 for ever
"Wake up the damn Bambino; I'll drill him in the ass." -- Pedro Martinez
"The MTX75 was not designed to be a drag racing transmission" -- Terry Haines
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That is GREAT MarkO.. I have one I will also post later....surely it will generate at least one laugh 
Quality is remembered long after cost is forgotten.
...Oh sorry I guess I am just another stupid kid who doesn't know anything...
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heheheh... i like this thread i laughed
* Kathryn *
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds"
-Bob Marley
[95 tour LX]
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That made me laugh out loud, Im sure my co-workers think im nuts.
~~~~~~Mike~~~~~~
Silver 2000 Contour SVT
# 1200 of 2150
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Yea I have to agree with you I like that Dew commercial also. The cop jokes are funny. ....Brad Sandman333
Yeah, but ti still cracks me up, kind of like that Mountain Dew commercial where the guy head buts a mountain goat for the Dew, lol... [[Big Grin]]
Aviation Electronic Tech's RULE!!
Your born you die
inbetween you work on cars
how can we be so lucky.
99'Mystique Zetec VCT ATX
"CEG" on front and back windows.
10 inch HED series Cerwin-Vega
My ther car is a 1996 4Runner
Sunfire red pearl
with Bilstein shocks, K&N air filter
and Xenon fender flairs
"There is always room for more mods"
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hehe, those are funny.
· Jon Miconi
· 96 Contour Zetec ATX
· 80 Ramcharger 360 ATX
· 77 Ramcharger 440 ATX
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