-Nice shoes, wanna f***?
-Is your dad mad at god? Woman: No why? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
-Do you have a quarter? Woman: Why? Because my mom told me to call her when I found the woman of my dreams.
-Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
-Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
-Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
-What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
-Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you're the bomb.
-If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
-Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
-Hi, my name is Todd. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
-Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
-Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
