5.4 V8 is a must, 4.6L is underpowered, especially if you tow.
4wd is a good thing, especially if you're ever going to drive it in the snow, or even heavy rain for that matter.
Monochromatic look is available only on the Limited. All Eddie Bauer have the tan stripe and tan leather interior.
Running boards are a must, not only looks wise, but as an aide to enter and exit the vehicle.
If you have kids or frequently have rear seat passengers, rear heat and AC is a must, as the rather large backseats of the car can get mighty hot or cold without it.
Another must for drivers with kids is the dual media stereo. It has headphone jacks in the back seat and it allows the kids to listen to a tape while you listen to a CD or allows you to listen to FM while they listen to a CD. It makes long trips a lot easier.
Stay away from the air suspension. It is a rare option on the vehicle. Costly to fix if it breaks.
Don't bother looking for one with that power folding rear seat , it isn't worth the extra money.
A couple of other things. Don't count on using the third row for passengers other than children under 12. It is too small and the way you have to sit in it is uncomfortable. Also don't count on using that 3rd row seat too often. Getting back there is a pain where a pill won't reach. The procedure to fold the middle seat foward for rearmost seat access is a 3 step process. Taking the 3rd row out is a pain, so don't plan on doing that too often either. Do consider flipping the seatback on the 3rd row down when it isn't being used. It helps to improve visibility in a pretty significant way.
Here is an
example of what you are looking for.