Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Post your Wife or S/O funnies

These aren't super funny or anything. More of a you have to see it kind of funny.

My husband is evil in his sleep.
He's got the jimmy arms. Anyone who watches Seinfeld knows what I'm talking about.

I've been punched in the mouth before.

Another time, he had his hand above my head, and suddenly the jimmies kicked in, so he started tapping my skull like he was a morse code operator.

I usually wake up thinking "wtf a-hole!", but then I remember I sleep next to jimmy, so I chuckle and mumble for him to roll over. Then we have a good laugh about it in the morning.

Another humorous he-hurt-me story was when we were walking and he pinched one of my asscheeks. He managed to get his boney little fingers in between the muscles somehow and my whole ass clenched up and I couldn't get the muscles to relax afterward for the longest time.
The pinch from hell! That hurt, but it was funny in that Americas Funniest Home Videos kind of way.

So every now and then, he'll either pretend to come at me with morse code fingers or lobster pinchers because hurting your spouse is obviously humorous.
I laugh anyway.

Kim, that kinda defeats the "no motion transfer" of the Tempurpedic, don't it?

Everyone knows my fiance (Kim's) funnies.....all you gotta do is get some liquor and stare......and she will laugh and snort! SZ05!

I went shopping with a couple of friends that were recently married; my wife and I have been good friends of the wife we went shopping with since college. Anyway our friend is notorious for saying stupid things/comments/questions that are totally off the wall.

Anyway, we were at Best Buy and were looking at a washer/dryer set and the sales guy is trying to sell them on the front-load washer. Right before we were about to leave our friends wife says, "Well what happens if your kid crawls into the washer and gets trapped and you go on vacation?" Between the horrified look on her husbands face and the confusion of the Sales guy I could not hold in my laughter! To this day I am still not completely sure what it was she was trying to ask...

OK, Same friend different situation. In college we took a snowboarding class. While we were riding the lift up the hill we were looking at the stars since the skies were so clear. She turns to me and says "Hey look there's mars!" I say where? I don't see it? She insists that it's right there and is bright red, how could I not see it? I look hard and to no avail I can't find it anywhere, I see bright stars, but definitely nothing resembling a red star. Sure enough I look over and she still has her red tinted ski goggles on!

Once my wife and I were headed to a Renaissance fair and my wife (g/f at the time) was complaining that we were lost and that I needed to turn around. Well just as she went to take a sip of water out of her Nalgene bottle (with the 3inch opening)I see the turn and slam on the brakes from a 55mph roll! Needless to say the water came rushing out of the bottle with and all over her face and shirt! She was not too happy at the time, but we laugh about it now.