Hey guyssss.
Remember these days?
And random sketches and such. Rule #1: Keep things CDW-related.
Sorry to say, I haven't been around lately. Normally I'd give the reasons of school or final exams or drinking myself retarded or working on my Contour that I don't have or lack of time or internet access or being too bored with my right han...you get the point. I've been busy. That's all that matters to you.
Anyway.
This is my story. Sit back kids and vets. You know how this works.
Newbs: Just shut up, thx.
So my adventures in life have taken me to Volkswagenland. They are a little...er...well, not-CEGlike. The fanbase is comparatively huge. And they can make some fast cars (VR6/1.8T/2.0T/W8 etc). But, you know. I can't fancy that my window buttons for the back windows are 3109 miles from the window buttons from the front doors. And I thought Germans were more cutting edge than that.
So. I ended up with one. It is in the middle of reconstruction because some Taurus Wagon of numbnuts barrelled into my right front corner and basically rolled over it. Ugh.
So I had it sitting around forever doing nothing.
I really wanted to just walk up to whoever was driving that Taurus and slap them in the face and be all like, "Look here hoe..."
So. I was going to salvage the car to the Vortex wolves and climb back aboard CEG. But then I decided that my Dub did enough stupid things for me to like it. It didn't really matter that it looks like I basically drive around a shipping crate box with a spoiler on it, or that reverse is to the left of 1st, or that my cupholders will barely hold a wad of condoms, let alone an actual drink.
Here's where my adventures start. Load up the Sedona with Dub parts! It's about to get bitchin' in here!
And off I went. Since Volkswagen is full of oddities (and that is using the nice, PC term) I decided to make my own new home for Dub and her hospital. In Reno, Nevada. I establish base and leave there in search for parts. And partying.
Of course, I get there and there's all kinds of hustle and bustle. I forgot to say hi to my friends along the way.
So I'm crankin' around in the ol' Sedona, but when my friends in Savannah find out that I'm trying to fix Dub instead of getting a Contour, they go ape and tell me that I need to leave.
I'm so infuriated that I'm going to challenge Ray to a race. In my minivan.
GO AHEAD! Laugh. Little does CEG remember...
Look here, now! I've got this made in the shade with a glass of lemonade!
And off we go! And off our visitors go...in the other direction.
We couldn't figure out how to drive through the Pacific Ocean, so I decided to call it a day and go back home. Ray didn't get my van, because he wasn't fast enough to catch me. Ohhh balls, that van is FAST!
Ray proved himself quicker though. Unfortunately it took 13784038 bags of ice on the UIM, and a trip to Maine. MAINE.
I got it big on the way back home though. Thanks Stazi and Todd, for using your IDs to get me in the back door. And then letting the bartender beat me up for talking about Kias.
I have a can of blue Gold Bond in my trunk that I'll be using as a weapon next time!
Well. I tried to go back and tow my Dub back to Savannah. But the tow strap broke and my van died. Oh well. Guess that's why we're born with two feet. Crap.
I am sad. My van is gone and my car looks like it was pillaged by leprechauns.
But then...the king came to town!
Yes, Lance is from Canada. Yes, he has a wand and crown because he has the big balls around here. Yes, I'm completely making all this up.
And so ends my adventures. Dub is kind of doing whatever she wants. Trying to pick up other cars or whatever. I dunno. I hear she has a tough time considering what she looks like. But we're working on her appearances. Plastic surgery can only go so far though.
As long as everyone is happy on CEG though. I am happy too.
SIDENOTE: No. I still don't have a Contour/SVT. Yes, I miss you guys [those that know me]. And yes, I still have a Volkswagen Jetta GLS with a red fender. But it rolls. And stuff.
Oh God. It's great to be back.
-SAV
