Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests !@#$%&* I'm BITTER!!!!! WWYD?

Okay, a few months back I tried to help a "friend" in obtaining a position with my Firm. It was a win-win situation as the Firm holds "referrals" in very high regard so he was pretty much a shoe-in given his experience and abilities. Also, I would have received a VERY NICE referral bonus had he been hired. Well, he blew me and the potential job off and I haven't heard from him in months......

Rewind..... This guy isn't just an "acquaintance" of mine. I consider(ed) him a friend. We were always cool but a few months few months ago when he became an "enlightened" Christian and wrote me off for whatever reasons zealous do-gooders do.

Fast forward to today..... I get an email from my "friend" saying that he's sorry that he hasn't been in contact, how's the family, blah, blah, blah and that he has applied for a position with my company and he wants some insight and information regarding my Firm and to please contact him. My guess is that he's on the hotseat for a position and he thinks I can give him the advantage that he needs to land the job.

Here's where I am right now..... WTF!!?? Not only did he blow me off, now he wants to use me for information when it's convenient for him! Now I'm "good enough" to associate with his enlightened a$$ I guess! On top of all that I'm also p'd because he has already applied for a position with the Firm and he didn't bother to use my name as a referral. Which equates to no bonus $$$ for me either!

The good side of me tells me to suck it up, help a man get a job, and all will be well again. Perhaps our friendship would be renewed and I would feel good because I helped out a friend...... However, I can't help but be p'd that he is trying to use me to better his position in life. I just think the entire situation is f'd up! What do you guys think?

Kick some ass sea bass!!!

you still consider him a friend? if yeah - help him out, if not - dont.

Lay it out with him. Tell him you felt slighted and that you aren't sure you should help him.

-Andy

Kick his ass!

WWYD? I have no clue what Yanni would do...

On a more serious note, I would give the fellow a pass; first off, him blowing you and a prospective job off shows a lack of respect no matter what lame excuse he's managed to concoct. Basic communication (i.e., picking up a bloody phone) is a necessity in any job and letting you and the workplace know that something had come up would have been the correct thing to do instead of just "dropping the ball".

If he was a good friend then he wouldn't have totally blown you off. Period.

Second (and I'll probably get flamed for this), I pretty much flat-out refuse to knowingly refer zealots of any religions flavor. I've seen too many of them make workplaces an HR nightmare; the constant b!tch!ing about proper language use around them, women dressing too sexy (outside of those that wear outfits that resemble Burkas), turning the office into a "pulpit" or "recruiting camp", etc., etc. It's a mess and would end up being a reflection on YOU if that is where the recommendation came from...

Again, you said "zealot"; run-of-the-mill spiritual folks can typically figure out that their place of business isn't where they need to be ramming their dysfunction down others throats.

Finally, it sounds like your friendship to him is one of convienence (though it may not have started that way); if he's a "zealot" in a true sense of the word then folks like that can justify practically any sort of treatment towards others, even friends. I know as one of my best friends in college went the "God Nazi" route and pretty much shat on friends and family alike that didn't share quite the same view of the world he did.

I'm very careful around two types of people: those with no morals and those that profess to have too many. Both typically turn out to be very sorry individuals to deal with on a daily basis and end up being liabilities in a personal and business sense...

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dammit John! i dont appreciate you airing our business out on CEG daily like this!

......how big was the referral bonus, again?