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Joined: Feb 2006
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OP
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Originally posted by BurntRubber:
Ok, first off...on those posts that are making it sound as if he proposed and therefore controls her...grow up! (A lot of you are posting saying things about how unfair that she not go to college or how unfair for her to stay at home). If that is what she wants out of life, kudos! Its HER decision and sounds to me like he is respecting that decision and is striving to make her dreams a reality. Personally, I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom (when the time comes) but it doesn't pay well so I will have to live w/ being a working mom. 
Ok, now on to the marriage question. If you are happy and in love and you are both totally commited to giving 110% effort to making this work then wonderful! Good luck to you! Yes making a marriage work is HARD! Its not 50/50...its 100/100. You both have to give a lot to make it work. There will be compromise, arguments, times when you feel things have changed, times when you don't feel that bond anymore, times when you hit a rut. Its how you get of those times that counts. If you can work together to make it thru, to talk it out, to make a change if need be, to rely on one another...then you will likely make it! I wish you luck! The point is age doesn't matter so much. Its the level of maturity that makes the difference.
Here is my advice (and for those reading this that take offense, get over it...there are a lot of posts I have taken offense to but have chosen to ignore):
1. Put God first in your lives, individually and in your marriage!!
2. COMMUNICATE! Communication is key in a relationship! You have to be able to talk about everything...to work thru it...to not hold back...that is what causes resentment and that just creates a downspiral!
3. Be each other's best friend! 'Nuff said.
4. Laugh together.
5. Never go to bed angry. (Trust me, creates a lot of tossing and turning!)
6. Don't let life get in the way of a healthy marriage! The little things will pile up if you let them!
7. There will be times thru out that you will hit a rut...you will wonder if this is right...you will wonder why that bond...that newlywed love....is gone...you will grow comfortable with one another and this can cause friction. You have to learn how to spice it up again. How to rekindle that love. How to get back that honeymoon/newlywed feeling of love. You can do it tho! Never give up!
8. Respect, Honesty, Trust, Unconditional love, Friendship, Laughter...those things are so vital!
There are so many more things I could add here but then this thing would get way too long! I wish you luck! Sounds like you have thought it thru, hopefully prayed, talked it out, planned it out and are ready to take that step. I wish you both many many years of love, laughter, and happiness!
Very good post. Lot's of good advice in there! Thanks.
For Sale - 96 Tour Sport 2.5L MTX with SVT Exhaust, pre 98 trunklid with newer Contour Sport spoiler instead of lip spoiler, newer Contour sport rims. Newer paint job. Brand new floor mats. Rust Free! PM me for details and pics.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 6,106
Addicted CEG\'er
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 6,106 |
Originally posted by JReebs96sport:
Originally posted by Y2KSVT:
As much as I agree with everyone's advice, this really isn't doing any good. Think about when YOU were 19, and people started giving you advice. What did you do? You're up to your ears in bullsh!t if you say you followed their advice. You wanted to prove people wrong, because at that age, not only are you always right, but you're also invincible. You can't impregnate those one-hitter-quitter type chics, you can't get in accidents on the street, and you certainly can't get a divorce. You're fresh out of high school, and the only thing you have to worry about is if your Mom made meatloaf of lasagna for dinner. If you were upset, it was because she didn't hang your laundry up like you wanted it. There's no "still wet behind the ears" with 19 year olds, because they've seen it all.
Mark
Don't tell me how I am at 19. You really don't know me. Just because you were immature, "always right", and invincible at 19, doesn't mean that all 19 year olds are like you were. Maybe most of them, but definently not all.
And by the way, I don't just have to worry about whether my mom made meat loaf or lasagna for dinner... I have to worry if she cooked anything at all! 
No, I don't know you. If I did, I'd be a hell of a lot harder on you, but this is the internet and I'll just say what I please. YOU asked for opinions, and I'm giving you one. Don't like it? Go from one automotive forum to the next until you hear what you want to hear. Maybe those tree hugging Subaru she-males will give you some more sound advice. And if you would have read this entire thread, you would have seen that I too was 19 at one point(imagine that!), and I moved in with a girl that I had the EXACT SAME FEELINGS FOR. I spent everyday with her, day and night. We both lived at home prior to moving in together. You think that doesn't change, once you're confined to a 700 square foot apartment together? "Why are you home 15 minutes late?" "Why are you on the internet?" "Why are you going out with your friends tonight and not me?" You know what happened next? Blood came shooting out my ears! I decided then, when responsibility and reality slapped me square in the face, that I needed to make a decision in my life. Do I want to live MY life, or continue a life of babysitting a girl that can't pickup after herself, or avoid calling her parents everytime there was the slightest inconvenience in her life. But hey, if you've got it all figured out by now, more power to ya. You've been on this site for a matter of a month, so we'll forget all about you in a few weeks anyway. No need to try and prove anything to anyone. Next time you ask for advice though, you might want to make a disclaimer of:
***No matter what your advice is, I am going to do what I want and disregard whatever it is you say***
Mark
2000 Black CSVT
3.0L Hybrid - 206fwhp & 195fwtq
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,899
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Posts: 1,899 |
19.. you cant legally drink for 2 more years.. u gonna have juice boxes at your wedding instead of wine?
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,651
Hard-core CEG\'er
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I just don't understand why u made a post about this marriage thing. Then deny everyones opinion that challenges your idea.
Sound slike
1. You have no life or freinds that you can share this view with. You just seem to be too proud about ur self saying tuff i do what i want.
Then why the [censored] do u ask for our opinions, and don;t start [censored] talking to people like y2ksvt.
If u had enough class as you say u do for a 19 yr old  , u wouldn;t talk to others that way!!!
You are still a teenager. Why wouldn;t i expect anything different. Yo sound arroagnt and imature!!
Last edited by Rickson; 03/21/06 06:03 AM.
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,882
Addicted CEG\'er
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Originally posted by Tour4reak:
19.. you cant legally drink for 2 more years.. u gonna have juice boxes at your wedding instead of wine?
LMFAO x 10000000 
Originally posted by Tourgasm:
Sometimes you can mess up a word so bad that spell check doens't know what the hell you're talking about.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 5,882
Addicted CEG\'er
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Originally posted by Stazi:
short thesis
well said sir.
seriously dude, just wait. although know youre not going to. what's friggin wrong with dating for a few more years? if the love was meant to last, it will. but let me tell you, if it wasnt, then welcome to the suck when you realize the marriage is over. as said already, you guys havent even found yourselves yet. big difference between getting married at age 21 and age 19. you will have grown a lot since then. and a hell of a lot more by 25.
and that part about "we dont believe in divorce" neither did my Catholic wife. she didnt believe in pre-marital sex either. all that goes right out the window when your needs change. besides, what are you gonna do, stay in a horrible marriage because you dont "believe in divorce"?
you know, its so funny how young dudes are always so excited when thinking about getting hitched while older guys are much more cautious.
good luck man. that's all i can say. hopefully youll be one of the lucky few for whom everything works out just fine.
Originally posted by Tourgasm:
Sometimes you can mess up a word so bad that spell check doens't know what the hell you're talking about.
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 253
CEG\'er
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CEG\'er
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 253 |
Originally posted by JReebs96sport:
As I'm sure you all figured out by now that we are getting married no matter what. Heck, I can't lose my deposit's for the flowers, cake, linens, invitations, ceremony location, and reception! We want our marriage to be an example to you doubters and unbelievers that it really can work. By the way, we do not believe in the d word.   <= That is what she always says!
D Word? What? Denial? Because it sounds like you're both in serious denial.
If you cancel now, you lose you deposit. If you get divorced, there is a MUCH bigger price to pay. Get out now while you have the chance.
Also, instead of you buying a new car, that money went to a ring. Congrats. This is only the beginning. When you're married, be ready for all your money to go to her curtains, rugs, and all that stupid girl crap.
But hey, prove us wrong. You've thought everything through and you're ready.
And I'm loving the puppydog analogy!
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,445
Hard-core CEG'er
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Originally posted by miller542:
When you're married, be ready for all your money to go to her curtains, rugs, and all that stupid girl crap.
thats not always true. most of my money i spend on my chick goes towards stuff like her hearse and other good stuff.
if she wants any of that foo foo stuff, which she never does, then she buys it herself.
NY State Trooper: So what makes your car so special to have SVT all over it?
Me: Er...It was made by Fords SPECIAL Vehicle Team?
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,770
Smurfette
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Smurfette
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,770 |
Originally posted by ElKy:
Originally posted by miller542:
When you're married, be ready for all your money to go to her curtains, rugs, and all that stupid girl crap.
thats not always true.
I'd say a majority of the negative stuff said in this thread is not always true.
Especially coming from the people that can't fathom the possibility of a couple whose major motivations don't involve substance abuse or getting laid
Kim
1995 Contour GL
Needs less "needs more"
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,195
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Jeff, Jeff, Jeff...  You look mature anyway...even though you don't sound like it this thread ----> *case in point*
1999 Sportage 4x4...don't go there, it was free
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