Originally posted by red99sesport:

That being said, I don't know anyone who knows themselves as an adult enough at 19 to get married and have it really work.



I still stand by this. Most people don't have enough life experience at 19 to truly know who they are. I have had a ton of life experience by 21 and enough harsh reality in my lifetime and I still feel that I don't have enough experience to have totally figured everything I want to figure out nailed down yet.

I grew up in a household where my father was not always present. He would go on business trips for 3 weeks at a time, spent a year in Mexico when I was younger. This meant my mother had to raise my brother and I. It was not easy for me, my brother, or my Mom. When my dad was home, he made things really difficult. He acted terribly to us. He also was really unpredictible. We later found out he was bi-polar. This was only after he changed jobs to the point where I went to 3 high schools by the middle of my sophomore year. Once that ordeal was over and my Dad started staying home more, I about had to move out because of all the problems between him and myself. He was also overly religious, did I mention that.

I have had 7 great grandparents that I knew fairly well die, 1 grandparent die, an uncle get into serious trouble with the law, and an uncle that got divorced. I've buried two beloved cats, a third cat, and watched my dad give away without my permission a APC pure-bred black lab that my grandma gave me. I still won't forgive him for that. I get to watch my one and only cousin wear clothes from goodwill because her mother spends the child support my uncle gives her gambling. Occasionally I go to my grandfather's house (he and my grandmother are divorced) and sit there and watch him bow down to his wife, a woman who doesn't have any business controlling anyone, even herself.

I got to play man of the house from 16 on, and I still do when I am at home. I fixed anything that went wrong, cooked many of the meals, shopped for groceries, etc. I had no fun in High School, and didn't have any fun my freshman year in College.

I had to face the harsh reality that life isn't sunshine, lolly-pops and rainbows over and over and over, and I still do on a pretty regular basis, (there are worse things that I posted, and I'm not willing to discuss them) and I still have things I need to learn.

I've been exposed to the really unpretty side of life where you start to question things. Have you? If you haven't you don't know yourself well, because it isn't until the really hard times come that you find out who you really are. If you start a marriage not knowing this, there is a great chance that you will not turn out to be the person she wanted or visa-versa.

I know this sounds cliche, but if you wait to get married two or three or four years, and she is still around, then you know it was meant to be. If not, you saved yourself the pain of a divorce.