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Joined: Jul 2005
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CEG\'er
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CEG\'er
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Originally posted by miller542:
the biggest mistake someone entering college can make is being in a relationship. Why? Because it limits your ability to grow as an individual. You need to develop yourself and figure out who you are
Strongly agree. You think you are fully developed personally and socially.... You aren't. You will change in these areas and so will she. Will the change be better for the relationship, or worse? I can't tell you.
Black 2000 SVT Contour w/ Prairie Tan
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
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Ya know I'm not gonna dog him for his decision! I would totally get married right now if I could find the right woman, the right job (paying over 80k a year), a good pre-nup, a house, a G35, and a monkey! I mean if you have what you want and are happy then w/e...but I'm holding out for the above! 
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Joined: Mar 2003
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Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
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Meh.
This issue is too involved for me to discuss adequately on a message board.
I got married at age 21. By then I understood a few things about love. Specifically, love is not just a feeling. It is a commitment. The feelings & thrill you feel now will fade with time & become less intense. You may not even think you feel it any more at all, but it is still there. You just need to seek it out & fire it up in each other every now & then. That's where the commitment comes in.
When one of you begins to feel like you're in a rut, surprise your spouse with something different & spontaneous... Something you've never done, or don't think he/she will expect. Can be as simple as going sailing for the first time on some small lake, taking a hike to an historic/scenic spot you've never seen, or having candles lit & a nice dinner ready when he/she comes home from shopping on the weekend (doesn't have to cost a lot, just have a little thought behind it). I like to give the wife a foot massage & have a bath drawn every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life.
I've been married only once & my 23rd anniversary is coming up in June. 
Last edited by TourDeForce; 03/17/06 05:07 PM.
Must be that jumbly-wumbly thing happening again.
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Captain Impound Boy
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Captain Impound Boy
Joined: Aug 2002
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Originally posted by MapOfTaziFoShoâ�??¢:
Ya know I'm not gonna dog him for his decision!
I would totally get married right now if I could find the right woman, the right job (paying over 80k a year), a good pre-nup, a house, a G35, and a monkey!
I mean if you have what you want and are happy then w/e...but I'm holding out for the above!
haha better change your major to make 80 fruitboy 
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Smurfette
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Smurfette
Joined: May 2001
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Originally posted by TourDeForce:
When one of you begins to feel like you're in a rut, surprise your spouse with something different & spontaneous... Something you've never done, or don't think he/she will expect. Can be as simple as going sailing for the first time on some small lake, taking a hike to an historic/scenic spot you've never seen, or having candles lit & a nice dinner ready when he/she comes home from shopping on the weekend (doesn't have to cost a lot, just have a little thought behind it). I like to give the wife a foot massage & have a bath drawn every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life.
all of that spontaneous stuff definitely depends on their personality, especially if they're a "romantic".
If I came home to candles lit and dinner or a drawn bath, I'd laugh in his face for being so cheesy. 
I'd probably be more thrilled if he wore a wife beater and smacked me on the ass saying "what took you so long? get in thar and make me some dinnah".
But some people dig romance, and I think that's marvelous for them.
Kim
1995 Contour GL
Needs less "needs more"
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Originally posted by frenchblueC2:
Originally posted by TourDeForce:
When one of you begins to feel like you're in a rut, surprise your spouse with something different & spontaneous... Something you've never done, or don't think he/she will expect. Can be as simple as going sailing for the first time on some small lake, taking a hike to an historic/scenic spot you've never seen, or having candles lit & a nice dinner ready when he/she comes home from shopping on the weekend (doesn't have to cost a lot, just have a little thought behind it). I like to give the wife a foot massage & have a bath drawn every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life.
all of that spontaneous stuff definitely depends on their personality, especially if they're a "romantic".
If I came home to candles lit and dinner or a drawn bath, I'd laugh in his face for being so cheesy.
I'd probably be more thrilled if he wore a wife beater and smacked me on the ass saying "what took you so long? get in thar and make me some dinnah".
But some people dig romance, and I think that's marvelous for them.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, fell out of my chair laughing at that one!!! 
#3162 of 6535
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Originally posted by Big_B:
Originally posted by miller542:
the biggest mistake someone entering college can make is being in a relationship. Why? Because it limits your ability to grow as an individual. You need to develop yourself and figure out who you are
Strongly agree. You think you are fully developed personally and socially.... You aren't. You will change in these areas and so will she. Will the change be better for the relationship, or worse? I can't tell you.
Dude i totally!!! i mean TOTALLY! agree with this one, i started college with my high school sweetheart whom i thought at the time would some day be my wife... College changed the both of us and needless to say we are no longer together... Hell i can't stand her...
#3162 of 6535
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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All i'm gonna say is that if you really love each other and KNOW your the ONE's for each other then prove it to yourselves by waiting. If your so sure she is the right one what will it hurt?
I've been dating my fiancee since the first day of college just over 6 years ago. We got engaged last spring and are getting married this June. Advice from my parents was to stay with the person a minimum of 3 years before you make any decision on marriage. With-in that amount of time you will have gained enough insight into that other person to really know if its gonna work.
We have had our ups and a lot of downs but through those times it has made us stronger and we have grown together. We moved in shortly after we were engaged and things have gone smoothly.
Another thing to note is that once you become engaged your relationship pretty much is put on hold as far as development is concerned. You are too busy planning the big day and getting all wrapped up in the excitement that you dont proceed with the relationship the way you normally would have otherwise.
Like I said if she is worth it, there's no harm in waiting. And if [censored] hits the fan and it doesnt work out, your saving yourself a lot of drama and legal/financial issues.
I read somewhere that the largest dictating factor when it comes to wealth is divorce. People are generally something like 40% financially better off married than they are divorced.
Whats the rush? You can live together, be engaged and all the other wonderful things of marriage without the hassel of divorce if it goes that route.
The reality of it is, mariage is a piece of paper that binds you and your assets together. Do you really feel that you need that piece of paper to prove you love each other?
Originally posted by Chickens:
Religion can't do much for ashholes (unless you are an alterboy)
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get married! if its what you want to do, then do! both my brothers married at 19 and they are both as happy as possible. in fact, the younger of my older broters just had a baby on monday. congrats on the wedding, and have a good long married life.
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To the original poster: - Are you confident in your personal identity, preferences and goals in life? (i.e. know yourself well?) - Can you say the same thing about your fiancee? (You know her very well too?) - Are you confident in your maturity and ability to handle temptations (sexual and otherwise) and problems that will come over your years together? - Are you really ready to settle down and raise children for the next 20 years with this person? (Always a possibility ...) - Do you love this girl for her looks and her body, or for her personality, work ethic and positive qualities? If you are prepared to deal with all of those as a man, then you are ready for marriage. Most people at age 19 need more time to grow up, sort themselves out, etc before they are ready though. (24 yrs old here and not getting married for awhile still). People I know who married at 18-20 tend to be having a rough time right now, especially if kids came along quickly. DON'T get married when you are in large amounts of debt either!!! Money problems are a huge marriage wrecker. Good luck to you and your fiancee.
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