I was browsing my documents and found a compilation of computer-related jokes in a Word doc I had created in 1998 ... so yeah, these are old. I have more if this topic stays popular.
Helicopter Flight into Seattle
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when
an electrical malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's electronic navigation and
communications equipment. Due to the clouds
and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to steer to the
airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it,
circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it
in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign
said 'WHERE AM I?' in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded
to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held
it in a building window. Their sign said 'YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER.'
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map,
determined the course to steer to SEATAC
airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot
asked the pilot how the 'YOU ARE IN A
HELICOPTER' sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded 'I knew that had to be the
MICROSOFT building because they gave me a
technically correct, but completely useless
answer.'
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Dr. Seuss Computer Instructions
If Dr. Seuss were a Technical Writer
Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort.
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash.
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this?
What a shame, sir!
We'll find you
another game, sir!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on the mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side affects of Gauss,
So your icons in the windows are so wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC.
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
--------------------------------------------------------
Arrived Safely
Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He immediately sent an e-mail back home to his wife, Jennifer to let her know he had arrived safely.
Unfortunately, he miss typed a letter and the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Joan Johnson, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away.
The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she nervously pointed to the message, which read: "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here."
