a95:
i am relatively transmission ignorant, but i'm going to post this only because i had similar, yet more pronounced symptoms a few months ago. i want to emphasize that i have no idea whether or not this could be your problem.
my symptoms included:
1. abrupt shifting behavior (at times, VERY abrupt)
2. primarily occured at highway speeds
3. continuous fluctuations in rpm
after diagnostic tests at my dealership, it was determined that my range sensor was bad. i don't know much about this sensor, so i can't offer any skinny on that.
at the same time, my tss was bad, which may have made my symptoms worse than yours. i later changed the tss myself, (5 min job).
it almost seems to me that you have a milder version of what i had. but like i said, this is just my impression, and i can't say anything with certainty.
perhaps some of the experienced folks here could offer some words to either rule in or rule out my observation.
my range sensor replacement at the dealership cost an arm and a leg. i don't know where this sensor is located, but man -- if this is your problem, do it yourself, if possible...