also updating the situation, i changed the starter tonight. HUGE PITA. had to take out all of the coolant lines and even had to heat up the bolt on the starter it was so tight. anyway, flywheel had no damage and the starters bendix was what was making the noise. i believe as long as the car was starting there was no damage being done but if your car doesn't start don't let it grind. car starts up very nicely!
