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Guys I'm really starting to doubt my relationship with my current girlfriend of 2 years.

As of late I've been working to have money for school and car insurance/payments/mods. She works some petty job(no offence, seriously) doing gardening and random jobs for a lady she knows at her own will, on her own time. I tell her all the time when I work and when I have time to see her. I try to make plans for us to spend time together. But for the past 2 months she sits at home while I work and then goes to work on days I have off! She complains to me about not seeing me when I'm trying my best. I've even stopped at her house at 930 at night after working 14 straight hours...When I rarely get to see her she never wants to go anywhere, go to my house, all she wants me to do is sit in her damn living room and fall asleep with as she watches freakin tv...I'm all up for the cuddling stuff, but damn would it kill her to go out for pizza or a movie or anything. And tonight I worked I rushed my butt off to get home early to try to go see if she wanted to do something, but she is out at a bike night/bike show in a nearby town.

I really think I'm at my ends wit here. Guys what the hell should I do? I leave for school in 2 weeks and would rather spend it not fighting and trying to figure out whats going on...


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In my constructive opinion, don't stress it. If you two love each other you have the rest of your lives to see each other. From your point of view, I would just let her know you'd like to take her out somewhere; anywhere! Doesnt gotta be a movie or dinner. Go for a drive real far. Ok now I'm shooting in the dark but you get what I mean.

If I could guess her point of view, she could be one to be easily pleased by simply your presence; why the hell leave the house? I found I was the same way with an ex girlfriend, I didnt need anywhere to go when I saw her, just as long as I was with. Though, as you said, this gets boring more so than often

Just try to construct a way to relate, imo. Don't stress either. Like I said, if what you have is what you'll have the rest of your life, patience young padawan

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patience my ass...I really pissed that she went to the bike night without me. Especially after I've been trying to get a hold of her for 3 days.


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I agree with the above (pre98). It doesn't sound like you guys are having a relationship problem, just that she is kinda lazy. Tell her it would make you feel better if she went out and did stuff, and if that doesn't work, then have a serious talk with her. Sounds like you guys will be fine; don't sweat it.

Edit: If you really think she is giving you a problem, then talk to her about it!!! You obvioulsy love her if you have been going out for 2 years. TALK!

Last edited by Matt R; 08/14/05 02:33 AM.

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Its all about perspective.


You find it a bad thing, or that "something's up".. she may be simply "at ease" with things. Letting your mind run amuck with visions of what's "really" going on will only drive you crazy.

Establish a few things:

Do you love the girl enough to give her the benefit of the doubt? If yes, do so.. that will help tremendously (though, only if you do it sincerely..)

Do you see yourself with her forever? If so, then realize how important it is to be able to provide her with what SHE enjoys , too (sitting at home)

If you can't, then you have eliminated your reason to stress..


Lastly, if you were her (not "you" in "her shoes", but truly WERE HER (mentality, and all), would you see anything as being "wrong"?

Answer those to yourself, reflect on how you feel about your relationship, and analyze what you know she feels (not what your brain tells you she feels, aka "She must not love me, because she's going out without me"... What she TRULY feels...

Step out from your situation, and look at it objectively.. its hard to do when emotion is involved, but sometimes that is exactly why you can't see clearly in the first place.


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Problem of talking is that we don't. I can't get a hold of her. When I do she isn't home like tonight when i tracked her down on her cell or she is sleeping...


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She obviously takes you for granted & expects you to entertain her. Either that or she's got that stupid idea in her head, "If he really loved me he'd just know what I want.". What a bunch of bull!

If you were trying to get in touch with her for 3 days & she pretty much ignored you, here is some advice I got from my sister.... Good stuff, really....

Make no effort for a little while, like maybe a week. Don't visit, don't call, don't answer the phone if she calls you - let her leave a message, don't give her your schedule, & don't invite her out.

After a week or so, if she calls pick up the phone, but don't get defensive. She'll whine about why, why, why?? At that point tell her, "I've been really busy lately. You haven't seemed interested in doing anything with me in the past, why the sudden interest now?".

At that point, she'll realize she's been taking you for granted & shape up or ship out.


Must be that jumbly-wumbly thing happening again.
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Originally posted by ZeroHour:
Problem of talking is that we don't. I can't get a hold of her. When I do she isn't home like tonight when i tracked her down on her cell or she is sleeping...




Tell her you need to talk to her and your relationship is at stake. That will make her listen, I bet ya.


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Sounds like she might be trying to get out of a relationship maybe. If she wont answer your calls thats a bad sign. My senior year in high school I went thru something like this because I had 2 jobs. Ended up not working but now I have been with someone much better and it is our 3 year anniversery on the 18th.


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I did already mention to her about not seeing her and that she's been working on days I don't. She admitted she realized that she wasn't really going out of her way to not work on days I had off. so I don't know and that was 3 weeks ago and still nothing has changed. I've seen her once since then and talked to maybe 4 or 5 times.


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