Update... for dat ass
Well she hasn't shown up for work today (She works next door in an Indian restaurant) and I'm not about to wait...
Authorities have been called and they are en route!
As far as the history of the car:
2 Garage Doors
1 Colin McRae into an armco. New nose, lights, and hood were required.
3 Jackstands covers missing from various incidents (Including a pile of ice at a mall)
2 fuel Pumps (About to do a 3rd)
1 IMRC
3 Blown Tires due to debris
1 Hit-n-Run
... and a partridge in a pear tree.
Almost sounds like my bike.