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Joined: Oct 2004
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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is it Zolof? crap, my g.f just went on those a month ago. She was having panic attacks. But we are actually doing much better since she went on them...she doesn't argue or get angry about little dumb things anymore. Drinking and taking anti depressents is a huge no no. She is having major emotional problems to be doing both of those at the same time, and she is trying to ignore what is going on her life by doing this.
95 SE MTX
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Veteran CEG\'er
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Veteran CEG\'er
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Originally posted by SleeperZ:
she is a great woman, and we do really care foe one another.....
She isn't willing to talk to you, and she locked you out. Yet you still think she's "a great woman", and that she "really cares" for you? Oh, man. I don't know the whole story, of course, but if she really cares for you, she wouldn't lock you out, refuse your calls, and keep your rent money. Is there more to this story that you haven't told us yet? Like how you boinked her best friend or something? I can't think of many other things that would justify the way she's treating you.
Originally posted by SleeperZ:
Whole 7+ weeks I have still been paying half the rent and household bills.
This is a legal problem. I don't know about your state, but in CA, she would be liable for the following:
1) Refunding your rent money (and utilities) for the days you have been locked out.
2) If you incurred costs such as motel and restaurant bills during the days she locked you out, she may have to pay for some of those costs. You may be entitled to other damages depending on your circumstances.
3) If you are named as a lessee on the lease, she must ask you if you are willing to relinquish your interest in the lease. If you are, she must then negotiate with the landlord to terminate the existing lease, and have a new lease drawn up, thus relieving you of your rights and obligations under the lease.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,572
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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I really don't know how to respond to this in a positive way , but IF she really needs time away OK , but changing lock and not wanting to see / hear from you at all ? 7 weeks?? I'm not sure how you can even stay away for 2+ week if your really in love , I've only been married 3 years as of this week, We tend to fight now and then but nothing big , BUT in no way could we ever go off without each other for 2 weeks . A few months ago I went off to Texas for work and I was so upset about leaving her I almost turned around 5 different times. I hope the best works out for you, but I'm not seeing changing the locks and not even wanting to talk to you like a positive thing. If she's trying to take a break then why go off parting with these other guy�s? I'm not sure I rally call that taking a break  I know when / IF my wife gets mad at me I just leave her alone and take the dogs for a long walk , I come back and say I'm sorry or something of the nature and its fine and dandy . OH and changing the phone number too? Hmmmmmmmm, OK not seeing you and changing the locks ...well OK but NO communication isn't good man ...no good at all.
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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sorry buddy. i am going to be very blunt here. Originally posted by SleeperZ:
1)Whole 7+ weeks I have still been paying half the rent and household bills.
2)We have had great times together, 3)she is a great woman, and 4)we do really care foe one another.....
5)So how does the situation look to everyone?
Thoughts/suggestions/advice.....
1)that has to stop right now. and if you don't i might just have to come over and beat some sense into you
2)remember those and move on cause that is over
3)really now!? sounds like she is still a little girl who hasn't grown up yet
4)you may still but evidence suggest that she no longer reciprocates
5)sorry buddy. you had fun while it lasted but now it is time to get your crap back and move on. cancel anything that is in your name that she is using.
00 black/tan svt, #2052 of 2150, born 2/1/00
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"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 8,143
Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 8,143 |
yeah dude if shes changin the locks and cancelling crap I'm pretty sure shes done. For once in 6 years she'd had a taste of the single life and she likes it. Those extra weeks needed were just bs excusing. Stop payment on those bills and move the [censored] on! More money for the tour anyway... 
6 years is a long time but when they start changin the locks I think that means they don't want you back in there. 
also my gf takes anti-anxiety pills, anxiety will not make you do what she is doing. Anxiety problems make you cry over things that aren't such a big deal to normal people, they make u get nervous easier, etc...anxiety doesn't make u change the locks and cancel phone bills.
Last edited by ZetecNinja; 06/09/05 08:28 AM.
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Joined: May 2000
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
Joined: May 2000
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Back in Dec. I left my finacee. We had been together for 6 years too. Slightly different situation, but I know what you're going through. From what you've posted, it simply sounds like she's not ready to settle down. Changing the locks was a strange step... suggests there might be more to the story. Anyway, for now, IMO instead of focusing on the relationship, take a cold look at the facts. Consider what caltour wrote below. Do you really want to be a heel, paying for half an apartment you haven't seen in 7 weeks, while other guys potentially use your stuff? At the very least, get the stuff below ironed out. Then the relationship, if there's one left, will work itself out. Originally posted by caltour:
1) Refunding your rent money (and utilities) for the days you have been locked out.
2) If you incurred costs such as motel and restaurant bills during the days she locked you out, she may have to pay for some of those costs. You may be entitled to other damages depending on your circumstances.
3) If you are named as a lessee on the lease, she must ask you if you are willing to relinquish your interest in the lease. If you are, she must then negotiate with the landlord to terminate the existing lease, and have a new lease drawn up, thus relieving you of your rights and obligations under the lease.
E0 #36
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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What kind of anxiety medication does she take? Zanax is one of the worst medications. It's very addictive. I'm surprised at the number of people who are addicted to Zanax. I have anxiety problems but I would never take Zanax.
My mom and sisters all love Zanax. They don't seem to have a care in the world when they take the Zanax. The only problem with that is when their bills come in and they don't have the money. My aunt has to pay my mom's electric and pawn shop bills for her. Zanax sells for $5 per pill but people will pay any price if they are addicted. Zanax has a tolerance factor (the more a person takes the more they need to have the same effect). My sister takes 12 Zanax at one time. My sisters and mom are medication nuts. They think there is a pill for everything and that being addicted to medication is OK.
The problem that I see with addictions and habits is that the habits control a person. Bad habits are easy acquire but hard to live with. Good habits are harder to acquire but easy to live with.
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Addicted CEG\'er
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it's time for you to move on. she has. 
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Joined: May 2001
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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I agree. Be an adult talk to her. If she wont are needs more time, protect yourself legaly and move on. Don't be a nice guy about the lease or a utility or whatever, because that will bite you in the ass. Originally posted by 98cont-UoG-FSAE:
I've been dating my g/f for 7 years now and there are always good times and crappy ones. I'd say if you still love her, it's worth it to try to keep her. BUT, if you're still paying half of everything and you can't even get inside your own place that you share, it might be time to let her pay all the bills and move on. At 7 weeks or more, either she lets you in, or you take your things and your money somewhere else.
I think you need just one solid talk with her. Find out her intentions, and tell her your intentions/concerns/desires. If she is still leading you on and telling you she "needs more time", take a deep breath and tell her it's over.
Just my opinion.
Sean
Suck it Trebek! And by Trebek I mean Seaegee!
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Joined: May 2001
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Smurfette
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Smurfette
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,770 |
definitely stop paying half the bills if you're not living there anymore. Is your name on the lease or anything like that?
You'll need that money to support yourself in your own place now. Clearly you're not going back to that apartment, not anytime soon anyway.
And you can't mooch off your friends for free forever.
Move on, but still keep in contact.
There's no saying how long it'll take her to "find herself", but there may still be hope for you both to get back together eventually. But don't kill yourself trying to make it happen when maybe there truly isn't anything there between you two anymore.
Don't wait around for her. You could be killing yourself for years waiting for her to get back together with you, thus wasting many years of your life.
I'm not saying go actively try to find a replacement for her, but just give her that break, and take your own break.
Yes it sucks that you invested 6 years together already and it seems like that may all be going to waste. Try not to see it that way though. If you truly never get back together, try to find the good in what you learned during those 6 years to grow and move on to bigger and better things.
Kim
1995 Contour GL
Needs less "needs more"
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