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So for about the past 6 months my GF and I have been having problems. We have been together for almost 6 years. We started having arguements more often, mostly about how much each person contributes (emotionaly and monitarily) to the relationship. So we decided to take a break from each other. So I moved in with a friend for a 2 weeks. We continued to talk to one another. We saw each other once during the 2 weeks and it was a great day at the beach together. After the two weeks, she says she is still not ready and wants another two weeks. So I say alright. Now at the end of the those two weeks she doesn't want to see me or talk to me. She won't answer when I call her cell phone, she cancelled the home phone, and changed the locks on the house. She said she needed time to herself to reflect on life and think about what she wants from life. So now another 3 weeks later, I find out all she has been doing is partying. (She works only 4 days a weeks so Thursday, Friday, & Saturday she is out with friends.) And while not actually going on dates with guys (or bringing them home, or going home with them) she has been getting friendly with them while out partying. Whole 7+ weeks I have still been paying half the rent and household bills. We have had great times together, she is a great woman, and we do really care foe one another..... So how does the situation look to everyone? Thoughts/suggestions/advice.....
Frank McCoy aka Mod-deth aka Mid Life Crisis aka SVT Doood aka mcgainer is a SCAM ARTIST
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If she's changed the locks, move the F on as she is banging other dudes. Relationship as you once new it is over.
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars ~ Hobart Brown
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Originally posted by SleeperZ: So for about the past 6 months my GF and I have been having problems. We have been together for almost 6 years. We started having arguements more often, mostly about how much each person contributes (emotionaly and monitarily) to the relationship. So we decided to take a break from each other. So I moved in with a friend for a 2 weeks. We continued to talk to one another. We saw each other once during the 2 weeks and it was a great day at the beach together. After the two weeks, she says she is still not ready and wants another two weeks. So I say alright. Now at the end of the those two weeks she doesn't want to see me or talk to me. She won't answer when I call her cell phone, she cancelled the home phone, and changed the locks on the house. She said she needed time to herself to reflect on life and think about what she wants from life. So now another 3 weeks later, I find out all she has been doing is partying. (She works only 4 days a weeks so Thursday, Friday, & Saturday she is out with friends.) And while not actually going on dates with guys (or bringing them home, or going home with them) she has been getting friendly with them while out partying. Whole 7+ weeks I have still been paying half the rent and household bills. We have had great times together, she is a great woman, and we do really care foe one another..... So how does the situation look to everyone? Thoughts/suggestions/advice.....
You could try letting her see you with another woman. Maybe it would make her jealous. It might work or might not. It seems like she is trying to end the ralationship or she would answer the telephone and talk.
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But 6 years is alot harder then 6 months to just "move on" I feel...If you still have feelings for her go over there and talk to her or if your older (20s or 30's) go talk to her parents and see whats up...that might help you (if you got along good with her parents that is) Anyways good luck what ever path you decide to take.
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Sounds like a tuff one to acknowledge, but by the looks of things, she probably took this "time off" or "space" to find her true self, and ultimately discovered that she is not ready for a relationship at the time being, or simply has allot more to life that she needs to enjoy as a single person before she commits to a relationship, something that she obviously could not contemplate while in a bond with you. Also sometimes, a little time off can be the best thing during an edgy or static relationship since it brings out the true feelings and/or desires for one's immediate self at the very moment. Ever heard of the saying that goes... "Love thyself before you love others"? Yeah you guys might care for each other, but maybe you or her are not ready at this very time.
My first girlfriend ever lasted 4 years with me, but 4 years of fighting and arguments. Yeah she was the "first love" and one that I will certainly never forget, but a few times of "space" that we took helped us determine the best for ourselves in the end. Now a days her and my girl are good friends and I hang out with her husband like it's all good. Probably the best thing that happened to both of us is not staying together. Hope it works out for you too!
XL
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I've been dating my g/f for 7 years now and there are always good times and crappy ones. I'd say if you still love her, it's worth it to try to keep her. BUT, if you're still paying half of everything and you can't even get inside your own place that you share, it might be time to let her pay all the bills and move on. At 7 weeks or more, either she lets you in, or you take your things and your money somewhere else.
I think you need just one solid talk with her. Find out her intentions, and tell her your intentions/concerns/desires. If she is still leading you on and telling you she "needs more time", take a deep breath and tell her it's over.
Just my opinion.
Sean
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it has been a long time and if you really want to wait for her I guess you could. I would take your stuff out, and stop paying half the rent. It was really not cool for her to change the locks and still have you pay rent. If she changed the locks, changed her phone numbers, and is out partying and getting friendly with other guys, then I seriously doubt she is "taking time off" wisely. It sounds like she is taking advantage of you and keeping you around as a backup incase she gets bored of partying.
She might get pissed when you stop paying rent, so be ready to deal with her crap.
Getting her jealous with another girl is probably not a good idea. If you find another girl or want to try dating then go for it. If you stumble accross her while going out with another girl, say hello and be nice. Dont try to plant your date where your girlfriend might be. The new girl might not like being used like that, and your old girl might see straight through your scheme and get pissed.
Originally posted by Who the F are You?: does your family tree not have any branches on it?
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To me it sounds like she wants to move on. Tell her you are going to move all your stuff out and that she can take care of the rest of the rent since she changed the locks. I wouldn't guess that she has been with another guy already and that is one reason why she isn't talking to you anymore, she is guilty and doesn't want to face what will happen after that. Personally I think she is taking you for a ride, finantially and emotionally. I can only see bad things in the future if you two get back together. You will hold these past few weeks against her and she will say that it isn't fair because the two of you were not together. She shouldn't be the one having all the fun, if she really wanted the realationship to work she would be with you working it out and not out partying and hanging on other guys. The best thing to do is just tell her that you are moving on with your live, you want your stuff and that you are no longer responsable for your half of the rent. Clean break, simple, and it will hurt for a while but in the end it will be for the best.
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Her explanation for changing the locks was to ensure she had the space to herself. I have it form a a very reliable source (one of her/my friends) she isn't getting physical with the guys, just dancing, talking, and so on. I am 26, she's 31. We were truely thinking of getting married.
She started on anti-anxiety pills for about 2 months before all this started, so I don't know if that has something to do with it. (Of course drinking with the pills just might). I expressed my concern about that to her, but she said she's fine.
I reached out to her parents and expressed my concern as well.
I don't want to throw away 6 years, but ...... if its time to move on, its time.
Frank McCoy aka Mod-deth aka Mid Life Crisis aka SVT Doood aka mcgainer is a SCAM ARTIST
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She sounds to me that she's a responsible woman. Don't go by instincts; instincts lead to recessive solutions of the past. Go by your experience with her alone instead. I bet whatever bubble pops in your head then will solve your problem. And I truly hope it does. Good luck, buddy.
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