OK I'm a bit late to the party here. I'm in the same boat as BOFH as far as a cheating wife goes, with the exception that we were able to remain together.

As someone who has had their spouse cheat for having unfulfilled needs though I thought I'd been doing the right things, let me tell you, you're setting your wife up for the worst pain and suffering you can imagine. I agree that it needs to be discussed with her. There's no easy way to do it, and there's more than likely going to be hell to pay. But, in the end, if the marriage is worth it, you'll be closer to her than ever before. Marriages only work through communication.

In regards to not telling your wife who it is, that wouldn't be fair. If your spouse is anything like me and you tell her you've had thoughts about it, it will eat at her night and day and most likely have her pestering you until you finally give in. If you're going to tell her, be prepared to tell all. A half story does no good as it leaves too much to be questioned and wondered about. If you put a specific target to the indescression, then you can more easily move past it, rather than having your wife wonder every time you go out, if you're going to meet "her".

Best bet for you is to rediscover your wife as the woman you fell in love with. Treat her the same as you did when you met her, don't slip into that "long, comfortable place" this is where infidelity lies in my mind. If you need a suggestion of some things to help put that spark back in, I've got a good resource for you, just PM me to ask about it.

Good luck!
Rick

Owner of 00 #1611 Silver (Totalled) 98.5 T-Red SVT #6180 Buckshot77@msn.com Misc 3L parts for sale