Originally posted by caltour:
But here is my question for you: what if I put limits on the intimacy? How far can you go and not be cheating? Is ANY physical contact at all cheating? What about developing a deep friendship with a woman who is not your wife? Is that cheating?





You're speaking the recipe of trouble. Deep trouble.

But to stack this plain and simple, I will just answer your questions in the order you presented them:

1. What kind of intimacy are we talking? Do you feel safe doing so? Honestly, I can't understand why you seem willing to step into this end of the pool if you already have a loving wife whom has done you no wrong. I personally wouldn't consider any limits on intimacy, mainly because I wouldn't consider any intimacy at all.

2. You're in a different situation than I. When you're not married, rather in a long-term relationship, there is probably a slightly greater stretching room in the amount of leeway you can give yourself. Yet again, though, I don't consider this because I do my damnedest to not think about other girls. I don't always succeed, as no guy can truthfully say he does, but I like to think I have my mind on the one girl I'm with 99% of the time I have the ability to breathe.

3. The casual hug is not something I would consider cheating, married or not. However I don't think this is what you're referring to in this case. Again, I can't speak as if I were married, because I never have been, but if I can be allowed to picture myself a few years down the road as a married man, then I don't think I'd be thrilled with that kind of physical contact. Right now, I can't say I'd be thrilled with it either, but probably less so pissed than if I were married.

4. A deep friendship is something I would not mind at all if in this situation. Friendships should always be allowed between people in a relationship, because sometimes just that one person isn't enough. Now flashing back to the heydays of high school, deep friendship usually took the meaning of "friends with benefits" and I've been there before. It's a major pain in the ass, because no matter how hard you try, you eventually think that the "benefits" actually mean something when they honestly don't. When the time comes to break off this "benefit" habit, one of you is going to be sorely disappointed when it is brought to light that the entire friendship was based on the ability to satisfy one's sexual/physical desires. I've learned that I don't want a lot of my friendships with the opposite side of the pond to go down that way.

Yeah, I kinda broke off on a tangent. It's 1:41 PM, I'm bored and not drunk so I guess I just kept typing. Do what you will with it.

Either way, good luck figuring out your situation.

-SAV

Troll. 1997 VW Jetta MkIII GLS 5spd All hail my appearance on CEG!