Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Happy Birthday - Jarheads only (Humor)

And, no offense to other service members:



In the beginning was the word, and the word was GOD. In the beginning was GOD and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So GOD created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness, the earth, GOD divided between the land and the sea and these He filled with many assorted creatures. And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the ocean, God called sailors, and he dressed them accordingly, with little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom and the cute little flaps on their shirts to hide hickies on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed hem "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved reatures, He called them petty and commodore instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.

And the flighty creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God
made their trousers too short, and covers too large, and pockets to warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests, and all sorts of shiny things that glittered.... and devices that dangled. (When you are God, you tend to get carried away in a big way)....

On the fifth day, He thought about creating some creatures for which he designed a greyhound bus driver's uniform especially for flyboys but he discarded the idea the first week and it was not until years later that some postles "resurrected" this theme and established what we now know as the wild blue yonder wonders...

And on the 7th day as you know, God rested.

And on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. God was not happy!!!!!!!

So He thought about His labors and His Infinite wisdom, God created a divine creature and this he called Marine. And these Marines who God had created in His own image were to be of the air and of the land and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green, some were blue with red trim and in these early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical service uniforms for their daily work and training that they might be sharp and ready.....and He gave them evening and dress uniforms, sharp, stylish handsome things, so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody!!

He even gave them swords so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with... And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the Earth and saw that it was good.

But was God Happy??? NO!!! God was still not happy!!! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing... He did not have a Marine uniform Himself!!! But, He thought about it, and thought about it and finally satisfied Himself in knowing that. . .well. . .not everybody can be a U.S.MARINE...


Semper Fi and Happy Birthday Devil Dogs!!!

happy b-day two foot onions :-)

Semper Fi! My prayers and best wishes to my brothers in the field! Happy 229th! Ooh rah, devil dogs, carry on.

I'll have pictures of The Marine Corps Ball shortly.

E1

i forwarded this to my cousin in Iraq who is no longer in the service but still a Marine (for life right?!). im sure he'll get a kick out of it and share it with the jarheads he's with. probably won't mention it to the AF guys at his little hiding spot though...

i went to a club last weekend in Ventura, Ca and there was a bunch of Marines that showed up with their dates. They were all wearing their formal attire and the dates all had prom-style dresses on. Someone said they had just come from the Marine Corps Ball. (for this anniversery?)

i was thinking about it though, i dont think there is a MC base anywhere near Ventura. I know there is Port Hueneme and Point Pugu, but I thought these were Navy(?) did they have the ball at a Naval base? I know they work together a lot.

Its possible, Reserve units have the Marine Corps Ball as well.....

Originally posted by svt4stv:

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did they have the ball at a Naval base? I know they work together a lot.

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M-y A-ss R-ides I-n N-avy E-quipment

When people ask if I was in the 'Navy' I say "No, Marine Corps.." They usually reply "Oh, well the Marines are a department of hte Navy..." I always reply with "Yes, the Mens Department!" :-)

Originally posted by EternalOne:

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Quote:

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Usually, where ther are sailors, there are Marines.

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They need someone to protect them in case someone starts shooting. :P

E1

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This must've been all over as they same ho-down was going on in Grand Rapids (never knew there were Marines there either).

I asked one "What the hell is going on here - why you guys all dressed up?" and he mumbled something about a graduation or something. I was sh!tfaced at the time and so was he!

Actually, a reserve Marine GR unit was stationed over in Djibouti with me last year providing security for our little [censored] hole of a base :-)

Originally posted by Stazi:

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This must've been all over as they same ho-down was going on in Grand Rapids (never knew there were Marines there either).

I asked one "What the hell is going on here - why you guys all dressed up?" and he mumbled something about a graduation or something. I was sh!tfaced at the time and so was he!

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