Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Not sure dumb friend wants to know the answer

Nope, went to watch hockey. Was it interesting? (I'm not going to read it either way)

bwwwaaaaaaaaaah


too funny

good one Tim

The only other one I can remember is the burger story in audio. Lemme find it...



And fordcel or whatever, there are fewer errors per line of type.


Ok, to set up the story, people were arguing about Sony's quality (or lack thereof) in recent years. And awaaaay we go!

About Sony being a big company, that definitly would have a negative affect on their reputation. STORY TIME!!


Once upon a time, there was a really good burger joint in your town. Mmmmm...burgers....mmmmm And they made the best burgers ever. Then they built another restaraunt. Then another. Then another. Pretty soon, you could find that burger joint in every city in the country. Problem is, now that there's so many of them and they're all the same, the overall quality has slid a little. It's all about quantity instead of quality. It's still the same burger joint that you grew up with; they still make the same burgers; they just aren't as good as you remember. So you go to your favorite burger joint, and there's a really hot chick that's worked there for 3 years; since before they were a big corporation. Her name is Megan Johnson and you heard from a friend that she has a crush on you. So you go in to see her one night. You're wearing your favorite Dashboard Confessional shirt-the one you bought at a concert 4 years ago, before Chris was a rock star. "Hey Megan, how's it going?" And she just looks at you like you don't even exist. Then walks in Brian Nelson, the school quarter back. Megan looks right past you at Brian; like you're not even there. Cutting your losses, you slowly walk away, and sulk back to your freshly waxed 89 Metro in the parking lot. The next day at school, all the kids point and laugh, like you're some outcast now. It was all a joke between Brian and Megan. Your second period class is gym, which you have a perpetual excuse because you have SARS. So you go straight to the library to read about theoretical physics. While contemplating the string theory, in walks Brian Nelson. "Hey dork, you better not uh been talkin at muh lady last night!" "I wasn't" you mutter and go back to your text books. His friends all laugh, and then they leave. Crisis narrowly averted you think. Just then, your life-long plutonic friend, Michelle Jones, sits down at your table. She says she saw the whole thing and feels really bad for you. You play it off like every thing's cool. Then she asks if you've got any plans tonight. Nope, none, because you only work two days a week at the toy store at the mall where you make minimum wage. So you go home after school and your dad, John Stamos, is home. "Hey sonny, how was school?" "Crappy dad, but I think I've got a date tonight." "Yeah? Who with?" "You know, that broad, Michelle, that's always hanging out over here?" Dad tells you he always thought she was a lesbian, but she is pretty hot. You never considered her as a hot chick; an object of devotion and adoration, just a friend. 8 o'clock rolls around and you drive over to Michelle's house. For some reason, you're nervous as you walk to her door. Your heart pounds, your hands sweat, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and then; the knock. She comes to the door almost immediately. Her hair is straightened and pulled back behind her ears. She's wearing her cute glasses and you can tell she's put on just enough make up to make her look absolutely astounding. Megan who? The only person you see in the whole world, your one, is the person you've spent so much time with in the past. Your best friend, and now you see her in a whole new light. She says hello, but you can't speak. Your chest is tight, the muscles in your stomach tighten while those in your legs go weak. "C'mon, let's go, stupid boy!" She giggles and takes you by the arm. She all but drags you back to your Metro. As you drive away, your mind races ahead, clearing the road for new ideas of how to spend the evening. "Where are we going?" she asks, but you're still too nervous to give a clever answer. "It's a surprise" your prepubescent, cracking voice says; but your mind screams other answers. 15 minutes later, you're at Coolidge Park, down by the river. It's overwhelmingly romantic. The moon is bright, the stars are infinitly visible, and the woman of your dreams is right under your arm. The stars in the sky are almost as bright as her deep blue-green eyes. You both walk around the park, to a secluded bench under the bridge. There, you talk about life, love, and a lack thereof. As it turns out, she has always had a crush on you. You've just been too oblivious to notice. You say some funny things to make her laugh; you love her smile. She tells you she wants to spend more time with you; but as more than friends. She says there is a possiblity of a future between you two and you like that idea. A cool breeze comes from the west end of the park and the chill pulls her closer to you. You both sit in silence, not knowing what to say; as neither of you want that moment to end. 47 minutes later, the moon is directly over head and you are hungry. "Want to grab some burgers?" She smiles bright again and says she's hungry, too. You take her to your favorite burger joint. You grab 51 cents from the cupholder; you know what the total will be. Two combo #1's and two root beers. You have exact change. Who takes your order? Megan? You don't notice her; but she notices you; oh how she sees you differently now that you have a lady on your arm. Michelle recognizes her from school and asks if you remember her. "Nope, can't say I do", Michelle laughs, and you can see the slight glimmer of a tear in the corner of Megan's eye. You know you should feel bad for being mean to someone, but then you realize that she had never done anything for you but make your burgers; only because it was her job. She might be home coming queen, but inside she's depressed as anything. You and Michelle take your food and sit down to eat. You eat and remember how good the burgers used to be; but now you're sharing your dinner with your one. Michelle's mere presence makes the almost dreary burger taste all the more better. You realize there are more important things in life than how good a burger is. You both finish eating and go back to the car. You've got The Groovie Ghoulies in your Sony tape deck, and, as the Xplod amp pushes the boxed 6x9"s in the rear hatch, Michelle leans over and kisses you on the cheek. Unanticipated, unexpected kiss. Your heart stops, you look at her; deep in her eyes and see something you've always wanted, but never knew existed. She feels the same connection and the two of you kiss for the first time in the 8 years you've known each other. Heart still pounding, you drive her home. You walk her to the door, where she pauses, turns, and grabs you around the waist. She kisses you like she really means it. She goes in the house and you float back to the car. You are king of this night.


The moral of the story is that big corporations tend to have a negative image because they appear to care more for quantity than quality; much like the burger joint.

Wait a minute! Both of these stories are about the same broad! Damn I got it bad for her.