It is your duty as an American citizen and a child of God to report your parents to the government when you believe they are engaging in almost suspicious behavior. It is real easy to do, too! Just call the TIPS line and tell the Christian operator on the other end of the phone what your parents are thinking about! And remember the Tot Tips number the operator gives you so that you can redeem valuable execution prizes.
· When you tell your parents that anyone who doesn't believe that Jesus is the Son of God is going to burn in hell, they tell you to be more ??tolerant? of other religions. This is VERY suspicious! "Tolerant" is code for turning Christ-loving children like you into godless (people who spit at Jesus) homosexuals (people who put your pee-pee in their hiney) communists (people who put your blessings in their own pockets)
· Your parents catch you masturbating (that means playing with your tally-wacker if you are a boy, or hooch hole, if you are a girl or postoperative transgender) and they tell you - "that's okay, I used to do the same thing when I was your age." This is VERY suspicious!
what would jesus do" thongs.... 
