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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 27
New CEG\'er
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New CEG\'er
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 27 |
With women....nothing is normal. 
2003 BMW 325i
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,889
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,889 |
Quote:
she has gotten better but in my oppinion, from experience...is all they want to do is forget about it....its a terrible experience for them. I am sure she understands your want to get revenge, but do her the favor (as hard as it might be) and try to forget about it too.
This is not the kind of thing that just gets forgotten about! It sad that the victim is the one who feels ashamed. But trying to just put it behind you for fear of that stigma is not going to make it go away. If she doesn't press charges and see this thru to the end she will be living this nightmare for the rest of her life wondering if did or did not do the right thing. Plus if the guy does it again...well look down the track. You can see that train commin! Counseling is a must! You can be there for her but you can't play shrink.
Good luck!
99 Contour Sport SE MTX
KKM filter, B&M shifter
No res, BAT kit
Green car silver hood (because silver is faster)
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,001
CEG'er
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CEG'er
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,001 |
with my lil experience with the female gender, i've come to concure with following:
1. only arguements we'd ever get in, would be over the most petty things, almost like we want to argue.
2. the more non-serious you are about things, the less the fights.
3. there's almost always a easy way to avoid the fight.
4. after a nice arguement, there's only one way to make up.......................
dinner and a movie.
what were you thinkin?
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,206
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,206 |
i was thinking....
spanking her?
or at least my girl likes that 8)
-the original non contour owner-
an m3 or an sti?
thats like asking
"Miss USA or Hooter's waitress?"
05' Sti Silver/Silver
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 362
CEG\'er
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CEG\'er
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 362 |
I wanted to respond to the guy whose gf was raped. She is caught in the middle of a power struggle between you and her family. What everyone around her needs to realize right now is that she needs to be re-empowered. The rape was a loss of power for her - she was powerless against the attack. She needs to be empowered to make her own decisions. It didn't exactly happen to anyone else but her, and she needs to be the one to decide what to do about prosecuting or not. To force her to do anything - you are just re-traumatizing her. The same would go for you getting revenge - do you want to re-traumatize her? If you get caught and go to jail, now she's even more alone. Plus, you made a decision for her, if you did do that. Listen to what she wants - again, re-empower her. Support her whatever decision she makes. I would suggest that she talk to a counselor, more specifically a rape crisis counselor if there's one available in her area. They can inform her as to what happens whatever decision she makes, whether it be to prosecute or not, the process involved in that, likely outcomes, etc. They can also provide her with the emotional support she needs right now. But PLEASE, don't make decisions for her, or force her to make a decision, it does NOT help the situation at ALL...
Yeah, I'm a troll...
2000 Saab 9-5 SE
2003 Dodge Neon SXT
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,001
CEG'er
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CEG'er
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,001 |
Originally posted by VividMystique:
I wanted to respond to the guy whose gf was raped. She is caught in the middle of a power struggle between you and her family. What everyone around her needs to realize right now is that she needs to be re-empowered. The rape was a loss of power for her - she was powerless against the attack. She needs to be empowered to make her own decisions. It didn't exactly happen to anyone else but her, and she needs to be the one to decide what to do about prosecuting or not. To force her to do anything - you are just re-traumatizing her. The same would go for you getting revenge - do you want to re-traumatize her? If you get caught and go to jail, now she's even more alone. Plus, you made a decision for her, if you did do that. Listen to what she wants - again, re-empower her. Support her whatever decision she makes. I would suggest that she talk to a counselor, more specifically a rape crisis counselor if there's one available in her area. They can inform her as to what happens whatever decision she makes, whether it be to prosecute or not, the process involved in that, likely outcomes, etc. They can also provide her with the emotional support she needs right now. But PLEASE, don't make decisions for her, or force her to make a decision, it does NOT help the situation at ALL...
i couldn't agree with you more. i know a girl that was raped once, and its the hardest thing to overcome.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,132
Hard-core CEG\'er
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Hard-core CEG\'er
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,132 |
Originally posted by MapOfTaziFoSho:
Originally posted by spacemonkey:
i don't believe he said that they didn't disagree, he said they hadn't had any arguments. Me and my girlfriend disagree on some things, but we don't get angry about it and fight, instead we joke about our disagreemnts. I do however agree that as the relationship becomes more serious (ie marriage), then it is inevitible that you will argue. I'm sure me and my girlfriend will fight some day as well, because some day we will disagree over something big.
I wasn't ever going to post about this but, hopefully the whole world won't read this. I've been dating my gf for a lil over six months. We never fought. Until one month ago when she was raped...now the only thing we do is fight.  I feel like I need revenge. She doesn't feel she needs revenge, but to get on with her life. I feel like I cannot get over this w/o prosecution. If you are all curios she was at the hospital within 18 hours of the event. Did a rape kit and filled out a police report. I waited for over 6 hours in the ER with her. I love her very much, but I have never been so prideful in my life. I want to see him taken down, but I feel like it won't happen. I want what is best for her and me, but I am so angry at the person who did this.  What would you do fellas? Peacemistic views only please. 
Prosecuting someone is very difficult. Even if you know who did it and the police know who did it, prosecuting the person is another story. Lawyers are just actors and what happens depends on how well they play their part.
Someone stole my motorcycle out of my yard. They harassed me, threatened to kill me, laughed at me, and brought my motorcycle back completely ruined. I went to the police to get a copy of the report to take to my attorney and the police claimed that they lost the report. There is nothing like being victimized twice to make a person really angry, I was so angry. I wanted to kill the person so bad, I could have killed him with my bear hands in less than a minute. I was angry for over a year and every time I thought of the man taking my motorcycle I would get boiling mad. I wanted to kill him so bad but I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,360
Hard-core CEG'er
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Hard-core CEG'er
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,360 |
Originally posted by MapOfTaziFoSho:
Originally posted by luvinmycontour:
Originally posted by luvinmycontour:
id hunt his ass down, cut off his tool and hang him from a twriling cieling fan by his balls...with fishing line...or sone nylon rope so it burns him 
BTW, ill do anything for enough $$$$  
I'm glad you guys can take [censored] like this seriously!
i was serious...
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 7,100
Addicted CEG\'er
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Addicted CEG\'er
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 7,100 |
Originally posted by bigMoneyRacing:
Here's a win-win for everyone. Ask to take naked pictures of her to post on CEG. If she says yes, then all of us get naked pics; if she says no then you get the argument.
EDIT: I can host
Jenna says that she's all about win-win's... She'll present some "Christmas spirit" pics..., but CEG wouldn't allow that, I don't believe...
Just saying, I guess... lol
Ray
:EDIT: Clothed, Partial, or NOT...
Last edited by Ray; 11/10/03 08:41 PM.
'99 CSVT - Silver #222/276
In a constant state of blow-off euphoria.
Originally posted by Kremitthefrog:
I like to wear dresses and use binoculars to watch grandmas across the street.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,770
Smurfette
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Smurfette
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 8,770 |
Originally posted by Ray:
Jenna says that she's all about win-win's... She'll present some "Christmas spirit" pics..., but CEG wouldn't allow that, I don't believe...
Just saying, I guess... lol
Ray
:EDIT: Clothed, Partial, or NOT...
Jenna = very cool 
perhaps a subtle clue as to the url where such pics may be hosted would be ok.
Kim
1995 Contour GL
Needs less "needs more"
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