Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General Common Interests Another Episode of AS THE FURBY'S TURN

Ok, here's the thing that's pi$$ing me off today. You all know I just spent the weekend down visiting family. Here's the thing...... my nephew is out of control. He lies to his mom, backtalks her, hits her. He's basically an a$$ but it's her own fault because she isn't consistant on punishment.
Anyway, last year, she allowed my nephew to go live with his dad here in South Carolina. They had an agreement that out of the $85 a week he paid in child support, she(my sis) would send $60 of that back to him because he was going to have the kid. The other $25 is for back support, so he had no problem letting her keep that. Problem is, she abided by that agreement 3 times, after that, he never received any money during the next 9 months.
There was an incident that happened around February, and my nephew went back to live with his mom. Today, we took him BACK to his dad's. His dad is willing to allow the boy to come back and live with him but he wants my sis to abide by the original agreement, only this time, put it in writing with the courts that they stop the $60 support payments while he has the child. My sister won't agree to this because she "has bills to pay that don't go away just because my son is gone".
In MY opinion, she is totally wrong about all this. If my bil has his son, he shouldn't have to pay child support for the time he has him, if it's over 1 month. This man is the only means of support for his wife and her 3 teens. He works and provides for his family, but if the kid is going to live with him for ANY amount of time, he needs that child support he would have paid my sis to help feed and clothe my nephew. She is refusing to abide by what he would like, and he's afraid if he takes her to court over it, they would stick it to him because he owes her so much back support. He cannot afford that.
I am going back to Florida next week to drop my son off with my sister.I want to try to talk some sense into her, but not sure of what to say. I don't want to offend her, but I want her to understand she is wrong for wanting him to pay support to her when she doesn't have the kid and he does. Any suggestions?? Should I just stay out of it and let them fight it out? What??? HELP!!!!!

uhh i like contours? sorry no idea on how to help but you are right. she has to spend atleast $60 to keep the kid alive each month anyways right? so she shouldn't have a problem with letting him keep the money.

My boss has the same kind of problem. He has a kid from a previous marriage and the kid is an a-hole too. The mom gets like 400 or something a month in support. THe kid only comes over when he needs like new shoes or clothes or something like that. And when the kid is at his dad's hes an a-hole. THe parents have an agreement that the money be raised like 50 or 100 bucks a year. Well the money goes to the mom and her boy-toy, while my boss is having trouble paying his bills. Thats bs. His wife has 2 kids of her own from a previous marriage that he supports too. They recieve child support also, but it's used mainly on them (clothes for them etc..) and the rest used on any bills that they have.

I'm starting to think that some people shouldn't be allowed to procreate. Maybe that way we'd have a lot less a-holes and morons in this country. Democracy doesn't work in this area. We need a dictator for this kind of thing. Or a tax. Yeah a tax would be good. TO have kids you gotta like pay a tax and get a license that must be kept every year. And like to have an abortion (anything other than rape) you have to pay a fine. Maybe that will stop peeps from having so many kids. Or maybe condoms delivered in the mail with the coupons. Yeah every where you go you get a condom. That way less pregnancies. Or people could just CLOSE THEIR FRIGGIN LEGS FOR 5 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Rob

Let that be the dad not forking over the cash and see how fast his ass is in court,jail or on some "deadbeat dad" Jenny Jones episode. Typical of the double standards that go on everyday in our country now. If I were him she would either agree to the terms or she'd be talking to my lawyer on her way to court. It may only be $60 bucks a month but its more of a principle thing imo than a money issue.

You should start your own website with your rants.. Like a blog.. And let all the other frustrated moms in the world empathize. You'd be a big hit!

to be totally honest.. this could go either ways.. however..

if your sister has the child a majority of the times.. depending on what those bills are, she is still entitled to the money. Those "bills" could be insurance.. she could be putting the money away so that when she does have the child, she is not so dependent on "that months check".. especially since you said yourself he owed back child support. If he didn't pay before, who is to say he will not do that again. Leaving her in turmoil because she now doesn't have enough. You have to remember.. he wasn't paying what he should have been.. which may have put her behind on bills because instead of the phone bill this month, it went into her childs mouth.. Now he is paying her.. and she is able to catch up.

Secondly.. I disrespect your sisters Ex even more since he does owe back child support. Meaning, he didn't pay for a while.. is this not his kid? Divorced or not, full custody or not.. he has a duty as a father to support that child, and at one time, he obviously refused to.

If he owes back support, then he shouldn't be griping about paying her anything. She has the kids most of the time, he hasn't paid in the past.. he needs to start paying.

If he didn't owe her back payments.. my view would be pretty different.. slap em both upside the head and tell them to get their act together..

Whoa I misread the part about back support...please ignore my previous rant. Maybe there was a good reason he didn't pay before like he was unemployed? If not then he deserves little respect for not helping with his own child. And after re reading the first post...if he still owes "back support" then he should keep paying her the $85 a month until he is caught up on it THEN maybe sit down and talk about cutting if down if the kid is still living with him. Of course its really easy for me (or anyone else) to pass judgement here because we don't know these people or all of the facts.

Well, what happened with them was this.... my sister has moved around constantly. She moved one place, so did Lenny, her ex. She moved out of state, Lenny moved somewhere else. She came back to Florida, so did Lenny when he found out. She moved out of state again, Lenny moved away too. She moved back to Florida, Lenny just couldn't do it again. He had established himself by this time, was married and all. My sis lives in central Florida, Lenny lives in central South Carolina. It's about a 7 to 8 hour drive away. Lenny was the one who tried all he could to find them this past time. My sis knew what town he lived in and all, but did not try to actually find him. She just filed for child support and let the state find him. LENNY is the one who took the steps to get a phone number or something for my sister. He got my oldest sister's number from a sweet child support worker who was touched that he was trying to find his son. So it really was not his fault that he didn't pay child support, he couldn't. She had not filed for any, plus he didn't know where she was until she moved back to Florida and filed this last time. The important thing now is that he is here for his son NOW.
The child support is taken directly from Lenny's paycheck. He pays $25 a week for the back support, and $60 a week for the actual child support to stay current. He has no problem paying the back support anytime. The problem he has is when he's got the boy for 9 months, yet my sis KEEPS the current support even though the kid isn't with her. He was fine with her keeping the $25 a week for back support, but the $60, or at least HALF of that she should have sent back to him to pay for my nephew's food and clothing. Lenny couldn't even buy the kid new clothes or shoes while he was there because he couldn't afford it. He was the sole support for a family of 4 teens and two adults at the time. That was including my nephew. Between rent, phone bill, electric, food for them all, where was he supposed to come up with money to get the kid new clothes? That $240 a month he was paying my sister would have come in handy. Ryan could have had new clothes and shoes, or nice school stuff.
My sister is not saving any of that money she gets for his child support. She was living in her boyfriend's house that HE paid for, so she paid no rent, daycare for her other kid, or utility bills. The only thing my sis payed for with her money from work was food for their family, which was her, her boyfriend, their kid, and my nephew. One of my neices lived there too with her baby, but she got WIC and food stamps, so my sister used the WIC and food stamps for the whole house's food, THEN paid for whatever they needed beyond that. The rest of the money she made went towards cigarettes, weed, gas in the cars, whatever else she wanted. There is no savings account for either of her sons, unless the other one's dad is putting something away for him. I am not sure of that. So you see, she doesn't NEED the child support, and especially when the kid isn't with her.
I emailed Lenny yesterday and told him to contact the state of Florida and have them credit all the money he paid during the time Ryan was living with him towards his back child support. This way he has less to pay.

"STAY OUT!"

They created their own problems. They screwed up their marriage, they screwed up their child, & it'll screw you up too if you get involved.

Stay out of it. Ask them to not talk about the subject to you because it upsets you, if that's what you need to do. You'll end up being a scapegoat for one, or both, & the child will end up hating you for interfering.

Distance yourself from this, or you will be cast down into the mire.

The child is obviously acting up because of all the turmoil in his parents lives. The parents try to ease their own concience by trying to be his best friend instead of being his parent. He's got no boundaries, no roll model, no stability.

If a member of my family were to go through this, I think the child is the only one I would offer an open door to. My home would be a place of sanctuary & sanity for the innocent - as it is now for a few of my childrens friends. Here he could fine purpose, value in himself, peace, & guidance with a firm hand. He would have to adhere to rules, be part of the family unit that would depend on him for his efforts, & he could depend on us for our support as long as he was not destructive to himself or others.

One of my daughters friends was getting especially bad, starting into drugs & the gang culture. I bought an old Mazda RX-7 for $300 & asked him to help me fix it up when my vacation time started - of course I offered to pay him when the job was done. I spent my entire three weeks vacation with this kid, rough at first (send him away once because he was high & I couldn't trust being under a car when my partner was high), but we came to understand each other. The car was running after two weeks, I paid him & told him he could have it if he kept a job for six months. He was working two days later, came to work on the car every night with me to work out the fine tuning & aesthetics for the last week of my vacation. The night before I went back to work, I handed him the keys & let him know the title would be available when his obligation was done.

He has since been given the title, gone to community college, has a good full time job & wants to continue school. A month ago he sold the car & bought a new truck. He even came by to offer the car to me before he went truck hunting. I told him that I was proud of him & he deserved every bit of the benefit from the car. A great moment for us both.

To this day he goes home only to sleep & I have never met his parents.

Mrs. Furby,

You need a hobby or something to keep you occupied.


Sell your kid to HTM for 10.00 to mow his lawn and start "garage saling", antique collecting, knitting, golfing, writing scripts for soap operas, themes for Jenny Jones, anything!