|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 5,296
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 5,296 |
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 80
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 80 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Those are great! 
2000 SVT Contour #426/2150
Black/Midnight
35% Semi-Metallic Window Tint
KKM Intake
'90 Ford Taurus "Pinkly" (Beater)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 3,636
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 3,636 |
Here is one I really did. I was in Memphis and got on the elevator with an older couple. I had a cell phone on my belt, and it started beeping because I was not getting service. I took the phone off my belt, looked at the display, and in my best monotone alien voice said, "The mother ship isn't going to be happy about this." The couple tried to get as far away from me as possible, and quickly got off at their floor. I loved it. Lori, my wife, didn't think it was that funny when I related the story to her. I guess she was worried we would see that couple again during the weekend  TB
Tony Boner Personal: 98cdw27@charter.net Work: tony.boner@sun.com Saving the computer world from WinBloze as Unix/Solaris/Java Guru http://www.sun.com 1998 Contour SVT Pre-E1 618/6535 Born On Date: 4/30/1997 Now with Aussie Bar induced mild oversteer.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4,983
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 4,983 |
Originally posted by javaContour: Here is one I really did.
I was in Memphis and got on the elevator with an older couple. I had a cell phone on my belt, and it started beeping because I was not getting service. I took the phone off my belt, looked at the display, and in my best monotone alien voice said, "The mother ship isn't going to be happy about this."
The couple tried to get as far away from me as possible, and quickly got off at their floor.
I loved it. Lori, my wife, didn't think it was that funny when I related the story to her. I guess she was worried we would see that couple again during the weekend
TBYou and your stories! ROTF! Keep 'em coming!
P. Valdez 1998 VW Jetta TDI 1.9L I4 direct injection turbo diesel 5 speed manual no mods, no money AIM:PackRatTDI My exhaust smells better than yours.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,087
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,087 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 470
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 470 |
when you step in an elevator, it's actually an unofficial rule to turn around and face the door. Try the one where you just walk in and stare at the wall. It tends to piss people off. Tried it.. had fun..
Give me more beer and CEG before i get depressed!
AIM/AOL: DBZ Jr
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 8,142
Moderator
|
|
Moderator
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 8,142 |
Originally posted by DBZJunior: when you step in an elevator, it's actually an unofficial rule to turn around and face the door. Try the one where you just walk in and stare at the wall. It tends to piss people off. Tried it.. had fun.. Thats because you are mixing up elevator and urinal etiquette...
|
|
|
|
|
