Contour Enthusiasts Group Archives Forums General General Thinking of selling for personal reasons, need opinions

Let her know you intend to sell the car. She knows how much that hunk of metal means to you. She'll feel bad if she really loves you and that should open the door to comprimise now that she knows how much you're willing to do for the relationship and how important she is to you.

Something manage-able would be like 1 weekend a month for car stuff.

- or -

start doing things with her more often. take her out. surprise her with a weekend getaway for two at a spa resort. Ter her you love her at some unexpected moment.

Is there some place where you could store the car that is away from your house? I can understand the temptation to want to work on it if it is sitting right there in the garage staring at you every day. I think if you could put it away and out of mind for a few months it would help. I agree that a car is just metal and relationships are much more important, but you wouldn't want selling the car that is so important to you to become a bitter point in your relationship. My wife and I had a similar discussion reguarding softball last summer. This year I gave up some tournaments, and my work league, but I do still play once a week.
It sounds to me like a compromise can be found. Maybe a set schedule of how much time a week can be spent on the car?
In the end I think you are just going to have to go with your heart, I know it is a tough decision to find.
Final thought...Time is the one thing that we all have in common, and the one thing that we can never get back once it is spent.

How ironic Stick. My wife has just started softball a little over a month ago and I'm feeling like that is time away from us as she doesn't want me to come watch or anything.

Anyways, back to storing the car. I can't do that as it's my daily driver right now. I've got another vehicle to drive, but it's not preferrable unless there is inclement weather on the forecast- 87 toyota 4x4 with 206K on the clock.

"Without compromise only one wins"

and if one person "wins" you both end up losing.

Buckshot, I can very much relate to your situation. As I think a lot of people are saying, there has got to be some compromise that can keep you both happy.
PM or email me if you would like to know specifics and how we came to an agreement.
stownsend@sesnet.com

I'm in the same situation. Excpet for me, myself and my Finace just moved into a new house to. This meant painting, decorating, etc etc, the usual stuff you have to do to a new house. Well, that's when I started to work on the car as I finally had a garage to work in and it needed doing. But so did the house!
I spent a full 2 weeks straight in the garage working on my car for the swap etc. Right after I would get home from work, I would be in there until 11-12 at night. Then all day & nights at the weekend. This left my finace doing all the stuff to the house on her own.
We had many fights over it. I tried real hard to stop and stay away form the car and help out more around the house but I always made some excuse to get in there and work on it (which I regret toatly now!)

We sat down a had a real talk about it and we both came to a decision on how to handle it. She knows how much my car means to me, it's my only hobbie really. It gets frustrating for both of us sometimes but we just look at the big picture, as alot have already said, there are more important things in this world, and your spouse should be #1. I learnt that the hard way (after many hours of arguing/fighting).

I am SURE that your wife knows how much your car means to you. That's why she said not to sell it right. I don't think you should sell the car. That's not going to solve anything. It could end up in you recenting her for it(now or later). Work on the car in moderation. I found that telling my finace WHEN I was going to work on the car alot better then just disapearing off and not saying anything to her. Plan some alone time with her on a regular basis. It's fine to spend time away from your spouse but you have to make sure that they KNOW thier still #1 in your life. That's the key. "It's always the little things that count" is what my fiance tells me, And it really does! You can "say" I love you until your blue in the face but it doesn't mean jack if they don't "feel" it.

If you do need anything, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck with everything.

I'm glad your wife doesn't want you to sell the car and be done with it. I don't think it's fair for anyone to expect that of you...giving up something you obviously love and enjoy just like that. Even if you're married to someone you're allowed to have your own interests you know? Anyway, I can only imagine the amount of time you've spent on that car, I know that's the way I am with most things...I just can't leave it alone until it works! Moderation is key. Terry's got the motor to rebuild it right? So, cover up the car for the time being and spend more time on the "important things." Perhaps the SVT should be a "weekend project" from now on....good luck

It's been hard for me to balance my girlie and my car. I don't want to alienate her, so i've been very aware of my time spent. Always more with her than my car. I think if I sold my car because of not spending enouhg time with her she would feel guilty for making me get rid of my biggest hobby. Learning moderation is the best option in my mind. I try to keep car weekends to one every month or less so when the occasion I need two weekends she is cool with it!

-Andy

Man Simon you couldn't have hit it more on the head. Except take those 2 weeks and transfer it into 6-8 months and you'll know how far down the road I am in this mess. I've been working on the car since January and lining everything up before then since December of last year. I'm sure I've invested 300+ hours in the car since then.

Rick

Rick,
Like everyone else has said - moderation. But I don't agree with your saying to let the car and racing set for a long while. It's a passion and something you obviously love to do, and to stop doing it doesn't make sense. You just have to learn to balance the your life and hobbies. Relationships take sacrifices of some kind, but sacrificing what you love most doesn't make sense to me.

Instead of giving it up totally, try dedicating small periods of time instead. Does your girlfriend sleep in late on weekends? Then get up early and tinker with the car for a hour.

Compromise. Keep your girlfriend AND yourself happy.