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I went to my Ford dealer today, and I found out it would cost me a little more than $2000 to fix all the messed up paint, dings, and other stuff.
How the hell can my car be that messed up? Easy! Here's the how-to:
Step 1) Allow a redneck in monster truck to run over your rear bumper and trash the attaching pieces so it sags down a lot. Make sure that the truck f's the paint up all the way across the bumper. (All the way across is key)
Step 2) Go to work one day and have someone in a white car scrape across the front driver's side bumper in the parking lot while you're inside. (If you have a dark car, the car that hits you must be white, if you have a light color car, the other car must be black.) If they leave a note, you have to try again; it must be hit-and-run!
Step 3) Remove door ding gaurds by leaving WD-40 on them for a long time. Make sure it takes some clear coat with it. Ensure a lack of clear coat underneath the ding strips.
Step 4) Have a bunch of non-descript miscellaneous scratches.
Step 5) When getting an estimate, notice new things, such as: places on the car that were obviously wrecked and poorly repaired. You must have at least two of these places, for example; rear passenger 1/4 panel and front driver fender. Feel free to find more than two, but remember that 2 is the minimum!
All that crap will cost 2000 bucks. Insurance will cover step 1, ~$500. I know a guy at the Ford dealer that'll get this at cost, so I won't have to sell another kidney to paint my car.
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Joined: May 2002
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Ouch... On a side note. How much can I get for a kidney? And who do I talk to about it? 
~~~~~~Mike~~~~~~
Silver 2000 Contour SVT
# 1200 of 2150
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Joined: Mar 2002
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Sell Plasma.....
(plasma is liquid part of your blood)
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 816
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You get more $ for selling real plasma. The kind that the sun is made of. Russia, the Middle-East, and China all want it real bad. They want to help man kind by harnessing it into a energy maker.(that makes its energy all over the U.S.) I am seriously thinking of joining the military.
"Wow, that sank fast." "Yeah, like a rock." 96 Contour GL ATX 9mm Ford Racing Wires; 2 Resonators down, 1 to go;"Special airbox"; many mods planned Sony CD player: 50wattsx4;remote; Speakers=50 watt Pioneer 6x8s Ross Evans 
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Don't feel bad mine is probably just as bad.  
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 229
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Originally posted by SVTMike: Ouch... On a side note. How much can I get for a kidney? And who do I talk to about it? I think I saw one on ebay and went for a couple grand. I'm going to the plasma joint today to make some money. The blood bank is right down the street. Now, if only there was a sperm bank in Chattanooga, I'd be rich!
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Posts: 113
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i traded my spleen for a happy meal and 20 bucks! try to find a better deal than that.
98 Black SVT
It's all coming, soon!
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Originally posted by ChattavegasSE: Originally posted by SVTMike: [b]Ouch... On a side note. How much can I get for a kidney? And who do I talk to about it?
I'm going to the plasma joint today to make some money. The blood bank is right down the street. Now, if only there was a sperm bank in Chattanooga, I'd be rich![/b]How much can you get for that plasma stuff...the body fluid kind...not the solar kind? Seriously.
-Rob- '98 E0 Contour SVT #897, T-Red. FOR SALE: '98 E0 CSVT #2663 SilverFrost; stock & in very good condition. $7,800
KKM & BAT Intake Pipe, DIY cool air intake, Resonator deleted, TH fix; short shifter, rear spoiler, hood struts, fog mod, pre-98 sails, dings removed, A4 side-markers, clear head-light corners, T-red chrome front & back. Aussie Bar waiting for installation.
"Monkey is my business...and business is good!"
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Originally posted by MonkeyBiz:
[QUOTE]How much can you get for that plasma stuff...the body fluid kind...not the solar kind?
Seriously. I think $75 a pint. But i could be wrong. I prefer to sell green leafy things.
1997 GL Sport MTX,
Soon to be the fastest proven Zetec around.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 9,178
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Originally posted by Sleeper: Originally posted by MonkeyBiz:
[b][QUOTE]How much can you get for that plasma stuff...the body fluid kind...not the solar kind?
Seriously.
But i could be wrong.
I prefer to sell green leafy things.[/b]Like oregano?
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