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#1632007 08/17/06 11:27 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 4,016
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Hard-core CEG\'er
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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about."
Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "

Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the " Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not


2006 Mazdaspeed6 1997 Yamaha YZF1000R Thunderace 1996 Volvo 850-R
#1632008 08/18/06 12:03 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 21,653
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I have no life
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I have no life
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 21,653
Hooray beer!


<About to go drink some


98.5 SVT 91 Escort GT (almost sold) 96 ATX Zetec (i brake to watch you swerve) FS: SVT rear sway bar WTB: Very cheap beater CEG Dragon Run - October 13-15
#1632009 08/18/06 02:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8
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Newbie
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 8
"To alcohol. The cause of,and solution to all of life's problems"
Homer Simpson

#1632010 08/18/06 02:30 AM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 5,854
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TGO Offline
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Originally posted by Doppelg�¤nger:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not




it's funny cause it's true


1999 Silver Frost SVT #609 of 2760 Quaife, lightened SVT Flywheel, SPEC stage II clutch, removed resonator, k&n drop in - various other goodies too.
#1632011 08/18/06 11:32 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,445
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Hard-core CEG'er
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haha
i love the buffalo theory!


NY State Trooper: So what makes your car so special to have SVT all over it? Me: Er...It was made by Fords SPECIAL Vehicle Team?

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