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Well, you could always send her something like this, which I got in an email this morning.
Quote:

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the [censored] remote is.

Love,
Dan.





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lmao!!!


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Originally posted by Fmr12B:
If she's changed the locks, move the F on as she is banging other dudes. Relationship as you once new it is over.




1)I have to agree with Fmr12B - changing the locks is a sign she doesn't want to be "interupted" unexpectedly. Sorry dude, but it's fuggen obvious!

2)Zoloft IS the devil. My ex-wife went on that sh!t, and I swear it was the straw that broke the camel's back in our marriage. She turned into this totally different woman and when she would drink on that stuff she was borderline slutty. That sh!t does something to them that just toatlly changes their attitude and thought processes, as I guess it's supposed to - but it sure as hell aint for your good.

3)If you have all your stuff - stop paying any bills. Don't call her, watch her, send her anything. dude as painful as it is it's time for you to forget about it. This whole "break" idea is the biggest bunch of horse-crap ever invented on earth. 99% of people who are dragged into that scenario end up pissed off, broken hearted and booted to the curb - with the initiator banging the brains out of every cock she can find.

Trust me, I KNOW pain. I SUFFERED from a divorce and seeing my wife take off with another dude. So I'm not making this stuff up.. I'm just trying to get you ready for what inevitably is coming.


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Originally posted by SleeperZ:
I have it form a a very reliable source (one of her/my friends) she isn't getting physical with the guys, just dancing, talking, and so on.


I am 26, she's 31.

...its time to move on, its time.






If she's "dancing, talking, and so on," she's looking for someone to at least play around with. Was your relationship exclusive? Was it an open relationship?

She's changed the locks- she doesn't want you back.

She's still cashing your rent checks- she just wants your money.

Face it, man, she's moving away from you, probably has already moved on mentally and emotionally.

Gather up ye belongings and move on. It sucks, but, that's the name of the game you're playing now.


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Originally posted by 98cont-UoG-FSAE:
I've been dating my g/f for 7 years now and there are always good times and crappy ones. I'd say if you still love her, it's worth it to try to keep her. BUT, if you're still paying half of everything and you can't even get inside your own place that you share, it might be time to let her pay all the bills and move on. At 7 weeks or more, either she lets you in, or you take your things and your money somewhere else.

I think you need just one solid talk with her. Find out her intentions, and tell her your intentions/concerns/desires. If she is still leading you on and telling you she "needs more time", take a deep breath and tell her it's over.

Just my opinion.

Sean




Amen. you have been MORE than accomodating, paying but moving out etc. Try to have a sit down with her and hash this out; no arguing, just talking about what she and you want (you do know what you want right?). If after 7 weeks she doesn't "know" and needs more time, then I agree with Sean say goodbye and move on.

IMO, it sounds like she has already moved on. So be prepared.

Sorry that sucks ! GOOD LUCK !


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Same thing just happened to my, now roommate. Almost 4 weeks ago, his girlfriend gave him the "I need time to myself" speech. Two weeks later he finds out she's back to her old ways of drinking, smoking, partying, etc.. Finds out she made out with a chic at a party(I know, not ALWAYS a bad thing! ), but it was just to impress a bunch of dudes. She went down to Florida by herself to hang out with her friend that lives down there. She evidently went out partying and dancing with guys, and pretty much everything she WOULDN'T have done if she was with my buddy. In the meantime, he's been worried sick(literally) the whole time, and get this..... paying 1/2 the fuggin' rent at their apartment!! He finally worked up the balls to go pickup all of his stuff and move it to my house, but he can't stop calling her and talking to her. Hopefully your situation works out for the better, as it's obvious you're pretty heart broken over it. I do think it's time to move on, and a couple months down the road I think you'll be happy with your decision.

Mark


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Poor Terry.

Tell him to tell the bish to fugg off - then take the money he would blow on her and spray the crap out of the Cobra!


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On a more serious note. You need to figure out exactly what you want from a relationship with her and if she offers you anything less, dont waste your time. Communication is the only thing thats going to save you here. You need to figure out exactly whats going through her head and address the issues. Changing the locks and cancelling the phone is just wronge and whats worse is that your paying for 1/2 of it.

If shes worth getting back with she will understand that you wont pay the bills for her to live in an apt with all your stuff. If she went as far as changing the locks and phone then shes ready to be on her own. I have a feeling that the only reason shes stringing you along is for financial gain. If she really loves you, she will understand and have to make a decision.

Sometimes with women you have to lay it out as "this" or "that" and not leave any room for them to manipulatethe situation into getting what they want unfairly. Generally that is not the case with the girls worth marrying but right now it sounds like shes not to sure what shes doing. And I agree "time to find herself"" doesnt need to involve other dudes.

The only thing time away in this situation is getting you is more distance from resolving the situation. When a relationship is in trouble, the worst thing you can do is cutt communication.

Good luck bro. And like many have said, take all advice with a grain of salt, as no one knows the situation like the two of you.





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Time to look out for yourself. If she wants space, has changed all this crap to keep you away from her, stop paying the bills. Let her pay her own way. She can't have her cake and eat it too. If sometime down the road you guys get back together, great...kudos! If not, at least you didn't waste a lot of money helping her with her partying and "finding herself."

If nothing else, slip a letter under her door letting her know effective immediately she's on her own $$ wise!


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Sounds like good advice. And jeez, does it sound like some of that would work so well for my situation. I don't want to hijack a thread but if anyone wants to hear/advise on a situation I'm going through shoot me a pm. And Sleeper..I'm sorry to hear about all of that. I wish I could give you some good advice myself, all I can really say is that I'm going through a kind of similar situation and me and my ex hadn't been together near as long as you and I can't even imagine that happening after 6+ years. If you want to vent some more or just talk about it, check my profile and hit me on an IM.


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